


You Say Good-Bye, I Say Hello

by MiaSif



Series: Let There Be Light [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-06-17 10:44:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 37,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15459615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaSif/pseuds/MiaSif
Summary: Sam Winchester can't seem to forgive Gabriel for having let Dean go to hell. He was ok with it when he thought that Gabriel was just a trickster, but when they reveal who he really is, Sam is pissed. Gabriel sees that, see's his face and something inside him breaks. He doesn't understand why, he's been around the earth serving up his Just Desserts to everyone else he deemed deserved it and he's never felt any type of remorse the way he does now.Eager to find out why, he changes form to come and aid them. He takes on the role of a female trickster and calls himself Elle (from Gabrielle).Meanwhile, Dean is coming to terms with Cas being a newly fallen angel. He's human. And it seems that even now, he doesn't understand the concept of "personal space". Dean's known he was bi, hell, he remembered having to do certain things when he was very young to keep Sammy fed. But his dad caught him once, beat the shit out of him and he never did it again. His dad's words ring in his ears every time he orgasms to the image of a certain angel. That's why he can't be with Cas. But what happens when Cas gets fed up and leaves him? And transforms into someone that Dean can't help but lust after?





	1. Kashmir-Led Zeppelin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [followyourenergy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/followyourenergy/gifts).



> I'm gifting this to followyourenergy because as I told her, I've been through a shit ton this year and last and I was going through the heaviest part of it when I came across her work. Her story Kinda Like Family, Kinda Like Love, has lifted my spirits more than I can properly express. And it seems like a new chapter comes across on the days when I am suffering the most. I don't know her, hell, I actually don't even fkn know if it's a her, but even if it's a him, whomever it is, they deserve this work.

The first thing Sam noticed about her were the eyes. Whiskey coloured eyes looked back at him, inquisitively, almost as if looking to him for approval, head tilted to one side in a manner that reminded him of Castiel, his brother's angel, and sometimes even Gabriel (that fucker). He narrowed his eyes at her as that thought went through his mind, "What are you? Are you an angel?" "No", she answered blithely, "trickster", she twirled her finger around her face and his eyes narrowed even more. Only Gabriel did that and he did it when he was announcing trickster as well as when he (infuriatingly, thought Sam) reminded them that he could do whatever because (Sam rolled his eyes internally, visualizing the finger thing) "archangel". Rat bastard, thought Sam. He looked at the girl again and then sought to search out his brother, Dean. They were at the diner not far from the bunker and Dean was at the counter looking over the pie choices. Always with the fucking pie, he thought errantly. "Elle" chuckled and his head snapped back to look at her again. "You can read minds?" She did a short nod that rolled into a careless shrug. He felt a headache coming on "stay out of my head", he said crossly. "Well, quit thinking so damn loud." He sighed and gestured to the seat in front of him so she could sit while he waited on Dean to come back. He wondered what Dean would want to do with her. So far she hadn't said much. Just popped up in front of him (like another being was prone to doing, he thought, irritated once again at the thought of Gabriel) and declared that she was there to help. 

She sat in front of him and just stared at him. What the hell, he thought, staring back. She was pretty, beautiful actually, those eyes, her eyes were the best feature because they reminded him of...nope, definitely nothing thinking about him. She laughed again. "Cut it out!" "You cut it out, Sunshine. I'm hearing your thoughts without even trying." He blew out a breath again as he continued to study her, small pert nose, lips that he could imagine himself kissing (not now, as Sam had long since discovered that he couldn't be with anyone, not with his life, as everyone he'd ever cared about had mercilessly died or been killed or had to be killed, like Madison, but at one point, yeah, he could see it.) Her body was small, delicate and shapely. Really, if he were being honest with himself, he'd say that she really reminded him of Loki/Gabriel (trickster turned archangel) if Loki had a female counterpart. Maybe all tricksters looked alike and that's why the resemblance was there. Unless...

Dean interrupted his thought as he announced his arrival. "Who the hell are you?" he asked, in his usual brusque manner. "I'm Elle." "Elle?" his brother said, looking from her to Sam for an explanation. Sam pinched the top of his nose, already feeling the headache that was sure to come, especially since he already knew his brother would blow his top as soon as he told him. Oh, well, better to just rip off the band-aid. "She's a trickster and she said she'd here to help." "FUCK NO" his brother said, loudly, making other diner patrons look over at them. "Dean, dude, sit down and don't talk so damn loud, Jesus." Sam grumbled. His brother slid in next to him and pointed his finger at Elle. "What do you really want, bitch?" Elle, again, just shrugged, not looking the least bit concerned about sitting in from of Dean Winchester. Sam remembered a monster from another time had told him that he and his brother were the monsters that monsters warned their kids against. He supposed that was pretty accurate, after all they had ganked a shit ton of monsters in their lives. "I'm just here to help", she said as she snapped up a shake (which appeared to be Oreo) and started sucking on the straw, making her lips even more pink and wet and nopenopenope, Sam chanted to himself. She peered up at him through her eyelashes and gave him a small wink. "Could be fun." She stated, letting out a small chuckle when his face turned red. Dean looked from him to her and narrowed his eyes at his brother. "Not another monster, SAM!" Sam looked at him, guiltily. How the hell was that his fault? He felt attraction for whomever he felt attraction. It wasn't his fault they just turned out be not quite...human. "What are we going to do about this?" Dean asked, pointing his fork with crumbled pieces of cherry pie still on it, towards Elle. "I don't know, man." Sam said, running his fingers through his hair. "There's not much we can do. She can follow us anywhere and the bunker won't have warding against her." "I'm going to call Cas, see if he knows what to do." "Sure, call your boyfriend," Sam mumbled beneath his breath. Honestly, his dear brother was never going to do anything about his crush with the former angel. It was enough to almost make Sam call the detested Gabriel, because as much as Sam hated him and was angry beyond belief at him, he was good at jokes and pranks and could probably have helped him get those two together. "I could help with that." Elle said, shaking him out of his thoughts, enough to hear his brother sputter that Cas was NOT his boyfriend. "Whatever Dean and no!," he said, addressing them simultaneously. He knew that Elle could help him, but it just seemed wrong in some way. As if it should be Gabriel helping him, not Elle. With one last resigned sigh, he motioned towards Dean. "Are you done yet? I'm ready to go." 

"Yes, Samantha. Don't get your panties in a twist." Dean answered, reverting to his true age of sullen teenager. 

"Jerk"

"Bitch"


	2. You Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You Say" is a song by Lauren Daigle. Go listen to it. It's very good.  
> I'm very new at posting here on AO3 (my first post was yesterday) so if you guys have any comments or recommendations, please feel free to say so. I take everything with a grain of salt and don't get offended easily so please, be as blunt as you are.  
> As I said before, my work is dedicated to another fantastic author. Go read her work. She's currently writing Kinda Like Family, Kinda Like Love. It is the absolute most!

Castiel didn't always understand human emotions, hell, he didn't understand humans, period. And yet, here he was, a fallen angel "Have you ever considered it was Lucifer that brought you back? To join his team?" His brother, Raphael's words echoed through his mind. If only he could see me now, Castiel mused. There was so much to do with being human. Dean was showing him but it wasn't all easy. And Dean, Dean was an enigma. He loved Dean, always had, but now when he slept he saw visions of Dean and himself that he hadn't previously had...and didn't know what to do with. 

"Cas? You here?" He turned away from where he sat, thinking, remembering when Dean had first shortened his name. No one had ever called him by anything besides Castiel, save for his brother, Gabriel, who insisted on calling him "Cassie" which he definitely did not appreciate. "Yes, Dean." He responded after a while. Where else would he be? 

"Come here, you need to see this." Castiel got up and followed the sound of Dean's voice to find him, Sam, and someone who was female and looked vaguely familiar. "Who is that?" he asked, tilting his head to squint at her. He looked from her to Dean, unable to put a finger on why his heart seemed heavy. Probably another of Dean's conquests. "She's a trickster." His eyebrows flew up as he studied said trickster again, more closely. As far as he was concerned, there existed only one, and he had the power to... "I'm Elle," she chirped at him, looking straight at him in somewhat a threatening manner. He was almost sure..."I'm Elle!" she repeated, an edge to her voice. "I'm Cas...tiel", he finished. He really didn't like when others called him Cas. Only Dean. He glanced at Dean now and was taken in by beautiful green eyes that were already looking back into him. For a few seconds, he just drank him in. His eyes, his mouth, back to his eyes, his strong jawline, the freckles. I built his body, Castiel thought. Molecule by molecule. They stood staring at each other for a while longer until Sam cleared his throat and Elle let out a small chuckle and winked at Sam. "I see what you mean" she told him. "You and I are going to partner up, 'k, partner?" She raised her fist at him expecting a returned fist bump but he just looked at it and sighed, reaching his hand to run it through his hair. 

Castiel and Dean watched the exchange before turning back to each other. "Whaddaya think, Cas?" Dean inquired. "I do not know, Dean. If I were still an angel, I could have seen if she's really a trickster or something else, but I am human. I know nothing." Dean patted his shoulder and he relished the warmth he felt running through Dean's hand and down his shoulder. How could a human have such an effect on him? Always just Dean. He'd followed Dean from the get-go, unable to say no or turn his back on those green eyes. He'd seen every emotion through those green eyes. Had seen Dean's eyes revel his heart breaking when it was revealed that Castiel was working with Crowley. Not one of my greater actions, Castiel thought morosely. Had seen those green eyes and the relief in them when Dean finally found him in Purgatory. Had seen the happiness in them when Castiel saved him from Zacariah's clutches. Here lately, he caught irritation flashing through those green eyes, Cas felt sad at that. He wasn't adjusting well to being human and sometimes Dean lost his patience. He almost wished he could reach out to Gabriel. Gabriel had it so easy, he understood humans so well. Cas could definitely learn from him. Vowing to pray to him later when Dean and Sam were asleep, Castiel broke himself out of his revelry in time to see a look pass over Elle's face. Once again his suspicion came back but he was taken aback when she did a quick shake of her head at him. What was going on?

Sam cleared his throat again and everyone's eyes snapped to him. "What now Sam?" Dean asked, irritation clear in his tone. "Are we eating?" "Yes, and while we eat we can grill our new friend here. We still need to find out why you decided to help." He said, directing his last few words at her. Elle just smirked.


	3. Dear Theodosia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the story is moving really slow but I swear I'm getting somewhere with this. It's a slow burn but Dean and Sammy have some things to learn before they can be happy with their angels. And "Elle" needs to come out, lol. She will but not quite yet. First, Sammy has to come to terms with his own feelings when it comes to the angel he banished. Once he does, there will be more angst when Elle tells him who she is. 
> 
> I once told a writer that I didn't like angst. Only fluff, but life isn't all fluff. Sometimes hard shit has to happen before we can learn how to be happy.

Once in the kitchen, Dean moved towards the ice box, seemingly to pull out meat. Dean could cook many things as became evident once they had settled in the bunker, but making burgers seemed to be his favorite thing to make. "You know, I could just snap up some food" Elle said, speaking for the first time since announcing who she was. "Yeah, I'd rather you didn't." Dean replied shortly. Elle shrugged and moved to sit at the table. "Um, yeah, no," Dean started. " Around here we all help cook. You can do your piece by cutting up some tomato to go on the burgers." Castiel smiled. He loved burgers, something that was left over from when he still had Jimmy inside. Elle snapped her fingers and a plate with cut tomatoes appeared on the table. Dean glared at her before grabbing the plate and chunking everything, plate and all into the garbage bin. " I SAID no snapping!" "Fine!" Elle huffed. " I don't know why I have to do this the human way but whatever, Dean-o." Dean glared at her, "Don't call me that. Only one winged son of a bitch calls me that and I don't appreciate it from him either." "Really? He sounds amazeballs, is he here?" Elle responded, moving to grab a plate from the cabinet. She stood on her tip-toes but it was still out of her reach. "Here you go," Sam said, helpful as ever. "And no, he's not welcome here." "Really? Why's that?" Elle inquired. "Because he allowed a lot of bad shit to happen when he had the power to stop it all from the beginning." "Maybe he was scared." Elle countered. Sam scoffed. "No, he's not afraid of anything. He's very powerful." She met Sam's eyes and could see the battle there. Sam was attracted to her but didn't want to be. She just reminded him so much of...he who must not be named. Sam laughed at himself quietly. God, he was an idiot. He had to face facts. Apparently his brother was right on the money. He was attracted to another monster. One with the power to disintegrate him with a mere snap of his fingers, one that was more powerful than other demi-gods they'd killed. "He probably wouldn't disintegrate you, Sammy." Elle spoke. "Don't call me that, it's Sam. And stop doing that." Sam couldn't stand the thought of her reading his mind. She really did remind him of...Him. Elle smirked, facing him even as she pulled tomato out of the fridge. "It sounds like you really like Gabriel." Dean dropped the pan he was holding, his eyes wide as he snapped his head around, turning to stare at Sam. "You...you...YOU!" he said accusingly, pointing a finger at Sam, mouthing closing and opening like a fish. "Drop it Dean. She's lying." "No, she isn't." Elle retorted. 

"How could you Sammy?" Dean asked, rather demanded. "Dean, I said drop it. I've never done a damn thing with Gabriel. In fact I detest the little shit because he could have stopped you from going to hell, shit, he could have stopped me from going to hell, instead he chose the cowards way out and I'll never forgive him for it." "Maybe. He. Couldn't!" Elle suddenly snapped, the smirk long gone from her face. "Maybe he didn't want to stand up to his family. Maybe he didn't want to die! Did you ever think of that?!" All three of them stopped what they were doing, Castiel dropping his hand from the toaster where he had been dropping the bread buns in (he still got a kick out of them popping out of it something that annoyed Dean to no end) and turned to stare at her, suspicion written on all three of their faces. "How do you know so much about him?" Cas was the first one to speak. "I...I don't. It's just that everyone out there knows about the Apocalypse, knows about the Winchester brothers, knows about Castiel, the newly fallen angel but the one who did so much, everything, for them, and I know that had I been in Loki's shoes, I don't know what I could have done. I would be scared, honestly. I'm a trickster. I'm powerful in my own right but how would I stand up against all of heaven. Against all of the winged bastards as you so eloquently call them, Dean, knowing that there was very little effect I could have. You aren't asking for something small, you're asking for someone to willingly give up their life." Elle explained, turning to look at Sam before continuing. "I know what he did to Dean, Sam, I know he killed your brother more times than you could count, but he did it so that maybe you would try to learn how to live without him because y'all and everything y'all have gone through has been because you've never known how to let each other go. If Dean could have let you go, Sam, he wouldn't have gone to hell. He brought that on himself. You think he's the first one ever to have lost a brother? Their little brother? Their only brother? No! But everyone else moves on and learns how to cope, how to deal with the loss. And what did Dean do? He fucking went and made a deal with a goddamn demon. Now I could tell you straight off that that was his destiny, but you guys don't believe in that right? You call yourselves Team FreeWill so deal with it, both of you! With all your free will you went with a fucking demon. So what else was Gabriel to do? He was trying to fucking help. You guys, all of you, even you Castiel, have never known how to let shit go." The trio just stared at her. Dean couldn't help but accept that there was some truth in her words. Why had he gone to a demon? Normal people didn't do that. Normal people just suffered through it. "That's right" Elle said, staring at him. "Your actions were really like those of a witch, and we all know how much you loathe them, Dean. You went looking for a different way just to get what you wanted." Dean staggered back, unable to even command her to stop reading his fucking mind. Elle didn't respond, just turned back to the counter with her small shoulders set, as she picked up a knife and started cutting. The toaster dinged, the bread jumped, and Castiel did too. "Every fucking time, Cas." Dean muttered, slowly going back to browning his meat. "You jump every fucking time."

Sam said nothing, just stared at the back of Elle for another minute, digesting things in his brain before slowly going to pull out the condiments from the fridge. Mayo, mustard, ketchup, he thought absently. Onion, lettuce...

The four of them worked in tandem and silence until Dean announced that the meat was ready.


	4. Calypso- Luis Fonsi

Cas sat down next to Dean as Sam and Elle sat in front of them. "Cas, man, personal space, dammit." Dean exclaimed, shifting away from Castiel in an effort to put some space between them. Cas didn't understand why Dean was so adamant about personal space. It's not like he was sitting on top of the man. So what if their thighs touched? Castiel glanced at Sam and Elle. They were sitting as close as he and Dean had been. He watched as Sam turned to smile at Elle, the smile reaching his eyes and making them shine. Sam liked Elle. Perhaps that's what was wrong. Perhaps Dean didn't like Castiel. "Sorry, Dean." Cas responded softly, looking down at his burger. His appetite, what little there was of it to begin with, had waned. Why didn't Dean like Castiel? He knew that they'd been through a lot, but Cas was under the impression that they'd already worked all of that out. He gave out a little sigh. Humans. He'd never understand them. Gingerly he picked up his burger, took a small bit and then set it back down. Yeah, he wouldn't be able to finish his food after all. He sighed again. Another thing Dean would yell at him about. Dean didn't like when Castiel wasted food. There were a lot of things Dean didn't like about him. 

He felt a pair of eyes on him and looked up to see Elle staring at him, worriedly biting her lip as she glanced between him and Dean. She narrowed her eyes at Dean and Castiel startled. She really did remind him of..."Hey Cassi-Castiel", she interrupted his train of thought once again, but again, he didn't notice. "What does it feel like to be human? Are you ever going to be able to get your grace back?" Castiel shrugged, one small movement he had learned from the Winchesters and although it didn't look natural when he did it, it was still something that he'd picked up that made him look not so out of the world, as Dean had told him. "I do not know. Perhaps if I knew where Metatron had hid it, I could locate it. But I cannot find it without grace as it could be anywhere in the world, so maybe I will not be able to." "Metatron?" Elle inquired. "He is an angel, he is currently the leader of heaven." "He's a dickwad is what he is." Dean interjected. "Blasted angels. I'll never understand why they couldn't find their own rock to fight on. All of them are dicks with wings." Castiel looked down at his plate once again, this time unable to continue looking at Elle. He understood why Dean didn't like angels but time and time again he seemed to forget that HE was one of those dicks with wings. Maybe this was further proof that Castiel was right and Dean didn't like him. He had been told before that he was just a tool for them. 

"Dean?" Castiel asked, "Am I just a tool?" 

Dean peered over the rim of his beer to look at Castiel before setting it down. 

"Well, if you are, you aren't much of one, are you?" 

Castiel looked down again. He understood much more now. He was useless. 

He missed the look that passed over Elle's face as she read her brothers thoughts. She wondered if Dean knew the extent of Castiel's feelings and more importantly, if he understood how much he was hurting Cassie every time he opened his damned mouth. The Winchester brother's were good people, great people, but sometimes Dean lacked tact and if he hurt her brother, Elle would make him pay.


	5. Fare Thee Well- Marcus Mumford & Oscar Isaac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had someone tell me that the change with Castiel seems abrupt. Like one chapter he was fine and then two chapters later he's not. In case this has not escaped your view, please allow me to explain. 
> 
> Life is abrupt. Take me for example: one day I was a happily married wife of 10 fkn years and literally the very next day, I'm getting a divorce because my "husband" is gay and has already cheated on me. Sigh. Life is just fkn abrupt. 
> 
> And Castiel's emotions depict this. He's newly human. He feels ok one day and like shit the next. That's how we all are! We wake up on the wrong sides of the bed, we wake up depressed, sad, whatever. That's all I'm doing. I'm not skipping anything, it just is as it is. 
> 
> LMK if y'all have any additional inquiries.

Sam stared at his brother. Sometimes Dean really could be so uncaringly callous. Sam was used to it but Cas was innocent. He wouldn't understand that this was just how Dean was. He turned and looked at Cas who sat there quietly, with his hands in his lap, no longer even pretending to eat the burger. He looked back at Dean and saw him carelessly munching on his burger while taking another swig at his beer, not even noticing that everyone had ceased talking or even eating. He glanced at Elle who was watching Castiel with worry in her eyes before throwing a murderous look his brother's way. Before Sam could react, Elle was already speaking aloud. "You're a bastard, you know that?" Dean stared at her. "What?" His mouth hung open, showing them the bits of burger in his mouth and Sam felt his stomach churn. 

Elle shook her head before standing up. "Castiel, please come with me. I need to speak with you for a moment." "No." Dean said. "What do you want with him?" "None of your damn business, Dean-O!" "It's ok Dean, I'll..." "No, Cas! Sit down! We don't know who she is or what she wants. You're not going with her. " Dean hung on to the shirt sleeve of the shirt the angel was wearing. It was his shirt and something in Dean liked knowing that that Cas had taken to stealing his clothes. The former angel gave Dean a small smile and opened his mouth...and then wasn't there. "Son of a bitch!" Dean exploded. "Bring him back you bitch!" He was screaming now, into the room while Sam just stared at him. He really wished Gabriel was here. "Gabriel?" He said. Of course Gabriel didn't show. Why would he, thought Sam, when he'd attempted, in his own egotistical archangel, way to "woo" Sam and Sam had yelled at him. Sam sighed. "Gabriel," He tried again, "I don't know if you can hear me but if you can, please come help us. A trickster has stolen your brother and Dean is going crazy. We don't know what she wants with him." Nothing. "Dammit, Gabriel!" He yelled more loudly now. But still the archangel didn't respond. A sliver of worry ran through Sam. He'd never ignored Sam like this. Sam couldn't help but hope that Gabriel was ok. That would be the last thing they needed. Cas gone and Gabriel in trouble. 

Sam sighed out once again, pushing his plate back. There was no hope he'd eat it now. 

___________

Elle landed with a flourish in her pocket of the universe and released her brother. Castiel stumbled but the righted himself and just looked at her. "I don't know what you want with me, as Dean said I'm fairly useless now. I don't have any powers." Elle dropped the charade and revealed herself. "Brother," Castiel smiled warmly. "Cassie," Gabriel responded back. "Please sit, lil bro," He waved his hand all over the apartment, "I need to explain some things to you." 

Castiel frowned at the use of the nickname but quickly acquiesced to his big brother's request. It was nice to be with Gabriel. Even though sometimes he trifled with Dean more than Castiel felt content with he still could not deny the warmth that filled him when Gabriel was around. 

"Look Cassie, there were some things that you need to know about Dean." Castiel frowned again. He did not like it when people talked about Dean, especially not in a negative manner and he might not understand a lot but he knew that Dean and Gabriel did not talk about each over in a favorable manner. "No, baby bro, it's not like that." Cas decided to just sit and listen. Not much he could do about it either way. 

Gabriel pushed back his hair, expelling a sigh. "I'm not going to hold you here against your will but please hear me out and then whatever your decision is, I'll respect it." Castiel nodded at his favorite brother. "When was the last time you read Dean's thoughts?" "A very long time ago," Castiel admitted. "Before the apocalypse". "Why did you stop?" "He didn't like me to." "Hmm," Gabriel nodded at that, looking thoughtful. "Why, brother?" Castiel looked at him, tilting his head. Was there something wrong with Dean? Was he sick? Castiel felt sick, feeling his palms get sweaty, "clammy", Dean had told him. His heart raced. "Calm down Castiel", making Castiel's head snap towards him. Gabriel never called him by his name. "I had to get your attention back with me some way." Gabriel muttered. 

"How do you feel about Dean?" Gabriel asked him once his heart had slowed back down. Immediately his heart started up again and he felt heat flood his entire being. He loved Dean. "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of." Gabriel stated, clearly reading his thoughts. Now Castiel understood why Dean hadn't like him doing it. Gabriel simply smirked. "What is the point of this exercise Gabriel?" Castiel gave Gabriel a stare that almost made him shiver. His brother might be a simple seraph and currently human but he had also single-handedly taken out the most powerful of angels. He was not to be trifled with. 

Gabriel cleared his throat and decided to just spit it out and let the chips fall where they may. 

"Cassie, do you understand that the way that you love Dean is different than the love that you have for- say, Sam, or hell, for that matter me. You love him the way humans love each other intimately. You love him and wish to do intimate things with him. Do you understand that?" His brother just stared at him. "What do you mean, Gabriel? Dean knows I love him. He said we are brothers." Gabriel snorted. "He may have meant that at some point Cas, but he's loved you far more than a brother for quite some time. I can read it in his thoughts. Can I share what intimate means and why I know Dean feels this way for you?" Castiel stood ram rod straight for a couple of minutes before giving him one nod. Gabriel pressed two fingers against his little brother's temple and proceeded to show Cas the cleanest images that he had for intimate moments and then some things that showed him what he could do to Dean. He gave him the knowledge of what love, real love, meant and showed him how Dean loved him and how he loved Dean. Castiel gasped and Gabriel sat back. When Castiel opened his eyes, he looked heartbroken and there were tears in them. "I do not think that you are correct, Gabriel." "What? Why?" Had he actually read Cassie wrong? "Dean does not even like me." "Ah, yes, let me explain a few more things to you about dear old Dean-o. Dean does not think before he speaks. He's tactless and doesn't know that these things are hurting you since you're adjusting to being human. He told you that you didn't make a very good tool, but Cassie, he never said you didn't make a good person. You're simply just used to seeing yourself as a weapon where Dean is already accustomed to seeing you as a person he cares about. Dean would also tell Sam he isn't a good tool, because he didn't see you or him that way. He loves the both of you, even though it's in vastly different ways. HOWEVER, I don't think that you should just go back to him. I think that for once in his life Dean should know what it's like to not have you there. I have a plan little bro. And if you let me explain it to you and if you think you can be apart from Dean, for say, three months or so, the fruits of your labor will be fruitful." 

Castiel didn't like to be apart from Dean but his brother, Gabriel, definitely knew more about humans than he did and if this would help Dean accept him as a mate versus a fallen angel, then he would trust his brother to know best. He finished his thought and when he finally looked back at Gabriel, he found him smiling. "Ok Gabriel, tell me your plan. And stay out of my thoughts." 

"Sure, little brother. Sure."


	6. Save Me- Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's get to know Gabriel a little better. I have said this before...on pretty much every fucking Sabriel story that there is out there, but while Sabriel will forever be my favourite ship, Gabriel will ALWAYS be my most fucking favourite BEING that there is. I love him more than I love Arrow, more than I love, IDK, Mulan (and I fucking love her, the girl is a beast!). That's why it's important to me that people see that there's more to Gabriel than meets the eye. And when you think about it, that should be obvious! Hello! ARCHANGEL! Ha!
> 
> OH yes, one more thing. I know, believe you me, I KNOW I curse a lot. I'm ok with it. It's one of the few things I've accepted about myself. Let me be, k? XOXO

Gabriel flew his little brother to another apartment he had, but where most were in pocket universes, this one actually existed and overall wasn't all that close to Lebanon. New York in fact. It was a dojo that he had bought because he really liked the Japanese girl that ran it and didn't want her to worry about rent. She really was a fascinating creature, he had walked by one her once in New York and he'd almost passed her when she grabbed his arm and pushed him into an alley. "What are you?" She'd demanded. What struck him was how unafraid she was and because of that, for the first time in ages he didn't lie. Well, it wasn't a lie when he said Loki either, because he WAS both, but something about her made him say angel. When he had, her eyes widened and she bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you", she'd mumbled. He'd laughed. She stopped mumbling after that. "What's your name?" "Gabriel. They call me Gabriel." "Holy shit, you're the archangel?" He arched his brow at her, "Yeah, so?" She just stared at him. "Come on kiddo, you started out real cool." That snapped her out of it. "Ok, well my name is Akari. I own the dojo that's a block over. You want to come? I have castella cake." "Dad, yes!" She'd appealed to his sweet tooth and that was all it took. They'd gone, shared in castella cake and some sesame seed cookies she had and while he'd been there, the landlord had come in, without knocking. She was technically not even late yet but Gabriel took pleasure in serving the guy his just desserts because he right away read off him that he was a dirty bastard. He also read the guy's mind and he'd taken to just walking in to Akari's place in an effort to see her naked at some point. That guy didn't know what hit him when he lost his eyesight but Gabriel checked on him from time to time and he, as of yet, remained unrepentant. Oh well. He could continue to live without the gift of eyesight. 

He remembered asking Akari how she knew he was different and she'd shrugged, swallowing her cake before responding."I've always been this way", she said, nonchalantly. "Since I was small I could be walking by anyone and I could immediately tell whether they were human or not. Usually I can even tell what they am, but with you I sense two things. Now that I know one is an angel, I still wonder what the other one is." She stared at him and waited. "Loki," he said, after a beat. "Norse mythology Loki?" He chuckled. "Yes". "I thought you were tied up with snake dripping venom into your eye until Ragnarok." It was his turn to look impressed. Not many people were so well versed. With the exception, of course, of Samuel Winchester and his bitch faces.

"I"ll tell you about it sometime," He'd said. "It's a long story but basically I found him, released him and then since he wanted to go into witness protection because of his family, I acquired his persona. It fit us both well since I was also wanting to get away from my family." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah" He responded, shortly. She sensed he was done talking and they both finished their cake and cookies in silence. 

"Listen," he said once they were done, "You'd really be doing me a solid if you let me come and stay here anytime I have to stay on earth." "Like I'm going to say no to the archangel Gabriel." But she'd said it laughingly and just like that Gabriel had found himself a human friend. 

 

_____

 

Gabriel snapped into the dojo with his brother in tow and found himself at the end of a katana. "Gabriel!" Akari stated, glad as ever to see him, immediately putting away the sword. Why couldn't the Winchester's greet him like that every time he popped in? "Akari!" He said, wrapping her up in a hug. "How've you been kiddo?" "Never better although I've to say I was curious as to why my rent checks kept getting returned and lo and behold, I'm told that we're under new management 'Winchester, LLC' and that my money is no good here. Know anything about that Gabriel?" Gabriel felt his brother start and turn to stare at him as he felt his face heat up. You'd think one could have better control of one's vessel, Gabriel thought, embarrassed that his brother had to hear that. To Akari he stated "it's been a while since I appreciated a human. Please let me do this for you." "Of course, who am I to argue with the Messenger Of The Lord?" she replied, humbly, giving him yet another small bow. Straightening she continued "But please come to me if there's ever anything I can do to help you in return. It will be no bother at all. I give my life willingly." "Ok, ok" Gabriel replied quickly. He really liked Akari and accepted her bows because he understood the Japanese culture was all about respect (and bad-assery). "I'm not taking your life Akari, I do have a request though, if you're amenable to the idea." "Of course" she replied immediately, not even having listened to his plan yet. 

"This is my brother, Castiel. He is also an angel but is currently lacking his grace. I'm going to go find it and bring it to him. In the interim...there is someone who loves him but as he is male he is dealing with internalized homophobia and I think some time without my little brother will be the kick in the ass that he needs. I remembered that you had a spare room and I wondered if I could task you with the job of teaching my baby bro how to be human. If you'd like you can teach him the ways of the katana, but more than that, open his palate to Japanese fares, hell all the fares, the way people actually dress. In other words, get him out of the damn trench-coat and lastly, teach him how to love himself. He is a seraph. He was created to be used as a weapon but heaven is not the same anymore. We no longer need that. I want Castiel to learn how to love himself. Is this something you can help me with? I promise you that the riches of human will be plenty." He finished, allowing just a bit of his true voice to seep in so that she could understand that he meant it. Meant it all. He'd get Cassie's grace back but his brother needed to learn how to be human and more importantly, how to love and be loved, as a human. 

Akari looked at him, questions aplenty in her eyes, but she simply bowed at him again and responded, "It would be my absolute pleasure, Archangel Gabriel." 

Gabriel let his eyes show his grace as he nodded back at her, gold coloured eyes meeting hers. She did something to him. She made him WANT to be the archangel Gabriel. He hadn't wanted that for millennia. Blowing out a breath, he gave her one last nod and broke their eye connection. He snapped up some credit cards and gave two to Cassie, who just looked them over, and two to her. "These are unlimited. Buy whatever you need. Oh and Cassie. I have an ID for you, here. Don't lose it ok, because id's are very important." Cassie looked at the id and a small smile lit up his face when he saw the name. It was the same as the one on his credit cards. Castiel Winchester. 

Giving both of them one last hug, Gabriel flew off. It was time to talk to the Winchesters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya. Any guesses as to who Akari is? Ha! I'm not updating any fucking tags until one of y'all gets it right.


	7. Heathens- Twenty-One Pilots ft Mutemath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I've had a couple of y'all message me, wondering how my relationship was working, so update: when my spouse and I first separated I felt lost. I couldn't bear to think of being 40 years old and not be with him. But at the same time, I didn't want to be 40 and have him still doing this shit to me, ya know? So anyways, about two, maybe three weeks have passed and I'm settling. Here's the deal, in March I got sick, I had three minor surgeries that involved a lot of healing time and in the time that I was off work, my brain decided that it was a good time to start thinking about all the shit I hadn't given myself time to deal with, mainly my dad dying and my best friend deciding that dealing with me dealing was too much for her. She ghosted me. I loved her. I mourned for her and in some ways the loss of her was worse than my own dad's but only because she was choosing to leave, you kno? My dad didn't want to leave me, he was just sick. But her, someone whom I swore to love until I died, left me. Intentionally. IDK if anyone has ever gone through that here but that shit hurts. Hurts fucking bad. 
> 
> Anyways, Dick (not his real name but makes sense, ha) cheated on me for the first time in December and then again during that time that I was at my worst. I can't get that out of my mind. How much he lied. How much he continues to lie. And I just can't. I know I can't forgive him. He hurt me by lying. I'm a fucking open person, if he would have just told me he wanted an open relationship I would have been fine with that. We've had one before and I didn't care. But he lied. And honestly, I can't see myself having sex with him anymore. Like, at all. My honest to Chuck reaction to imagining having sex with him is EW!GROSS! So there's that. And the kicker is that almost every day he tells me he loves me and I do not respond in kind. He doesn't deserve to have me love him. So that's where we're at. 
> 
> I'm big on sex, I enjoy it with both genders and since we split up I've been having a ton of fun. ;)

Gabriel flew back to the bunker but didn't land. He kept himself cloaked and looked around, inspecting the floor carefully lest he get caught in a ring of holy fire. He knew Dean and definitely wouldn't put it past him. Not finding anything he uncloaked himself. Sam already had a gun pointed at him. Gabriel merely arched a brow at him. "That's not going to do much Sammy." "Don't fucking-" "Yeah yeah, I know. Where's your dickhead brother? I need a word with both of y'all." 

"Why? And where's Cas?" "I see you figured me out Sammich. What gave it away?" "I don't know, probably that you still acted like you and you even looked like you, just, you know, in female form. Now where's Cas?" "That's why you're my favorite Sammy. Your big brain just works overtime doesn't it? As for Cassie, in due time, my dear Sasquatch." 

Sam sighed and pulled out his phone. "Dean? Gabriel's here. He says he wants to talk to both of us. He was Elle. Of course he was, I remembered him telling us one time there was only one Loki. It looked like him, Dean. No, Cas isn't with him. No, I don't- Dammit Dean, I don't know! Just get here!" Sam irritably pressed the END CALL button and put it back in his pocket. He looked up to see Gabriel seated at the war table and he slowly ambled over to where he was. He didn't like Gabriel. He felt like there was just so much that Gabriel could have saved them from, if only he'd cared just a little bit. At the table Gabriel sighed. He could read Sam's thoughts (the kid thought LOUDLY) and knew that to an extent he was right. Maybe he could have done more but he hadn't and didn't understand why the younger Winchester couldn't just fucking let it go. "You know, of all my brothers, I'm the one you hate when it should be equal because anyone of us could have helped you. I know I didn't help you but you know what? Neither did they and you don't hate them, do you? Even Cassie could have done more." Sam stilled as he digested what Gabriel was saying. Slowly, unbeknownst to him, his head tilted. Gabriel watched him and almost let out a chuckle, Sammy resembled Cassie. 

Gabriel was correct. He didn't hate Raphael or Michael. And he definitely didn't hate Cas. Why was he so upset with Gabriel? Besides killing his brother over a hundred times and turning him into a damn car, not to mention giving him HERPES! But it wasn't that. He'd always been able to separate the trickster from the Archangel. Sam guessed that maybe it was because he knew Gabriel that he was just disappointed because he knew Gabriel could be more, he just chose not to. But, Sam supposed, that was his prerogative. He didn't have to be more just because Sam wanted him to be more. There was just something about him that Sam couldn't help but be drawn to. In that same line of thought, Sam felt like the Gabriel he was drawn to was the angelic one. Not that the trickster wasn't funny but he was also cruel and mixing up Loki with the Archangel of Justice just wasn't a good mix. 

"I only punish those who deserve it Samster. That was also my job as the Archangel of Justice so in a way I'm actually just doing my job." Sam didn't bother yelling at Gabriel for reading his thoughts, there was little he could do to stop it anyway. "Perhaps, but your methodology leaves much to be desired." "Really? How do you figure?" "Um, crocodile in the sewer? Only the guy's legs were left!" "Sammy, my dear Sammy, do you know what that guy was doing?" Sam thought for a moment before he realized he actually did not know. He shook his head. "He was experimenting on animals. Viciously. Puppies, monkey's, kitties, etc. I rescued one of the puppies there, a small Jack Russell and he had already lost a leg." Sam didn't know what to think first. Experimentation was the worst. But...Gabriel had a puppy? Sam loved dog's but Dean never let him have one citing their lifestyle and former lack of home. But now they had the bunker, Sam mused. Maybe he could bring it up to him again. Maybe he could ask Gabriel to rescue him a puppy. Remembering Gabriel, Sam looked up to look at Gabriel in the eyes. Gabriel was smiling. "Would you like to meet him?" Sam didn't know what to say. He wanted to but this was Gabriel and he wasn't known to play nice, what if it was a trick? It didn't feel like one...but he didn't always have the best judgment, as his brother was prone to remind him. Gabriel scoffed. "Your brother needs to learn a lesson." Sam stiffened as unsolicited images of his brother dying over and over flitted through his mind. What if Gabriel- "I said HE needs to learn a lesson, not you! and I'm not doing that again. Once in a lifetime was sufficient. I'm not trying to harm you or trick you Sammy. Just asking if you'd like to meet Coyote?" Sam felt pressure released from his chest; of course Gabriel would name his dog Coyote. Trickster through and through he thought. He smiled and Gabriel tried not to swoon at the dimple that peeked out. Dad-dammit this kid would be the death of him. Sam nodded. 

Gabriel stood up. "How long is Dean-o going to be?" "Probably about 30 more minutes. He was about an hour away but since you called and Cas isn't here he's probably rushing to try to get back asap." "Ok, well then we'll be back in about twenty. You ready?" Sam nodded again, Gabriel reached over to grab his hand and they flew away. 

_______

 

Sam had never flown like this. Usually it just took about one second for them to arrive from one place to another but it seemed like Gabe opted to take the scenic route. Sam looked down at his own body and saw Gabriel's arms tightly around him, he looked to the left and then right and could just make out the outlines of some vastly large wings. He was in awe. He could feel the wind rushing his face and still his hair did not move at all. It only took another minute or two and then they were standing in an apartment. "Where are we?" "Pocket dimension. Sit down, mi casa es su casa". Gabriel responded, in perfect Spanish. Sam sat and mere moments later heard something come running, nails pounding into the wood floor. "Heya sweetheart, daddy's home. Did you miss me?" He heard Gabriel ask in an unbelievably soft voice. It made Sam's stomach feel funny. "Come on, there's someone I want you to meet." Gabriel picked up Coyote and brought him over to Sam. The small pup woofed and Sam felt his heart melt. He was adorable. And missing a leg, he noticed. Suddenly the crocodile in the sewer didn't seem sufficient. Bastard guy. Gabriel nodded at him in agreement. Sam put out his hand to let the dog sniff him. Once satisfied the small dog butted his head against his hand and gave out a small bark that to Sam seemed inquisitive. He looked at Gabriel who was watching them, a small playing at his lips. "He wants a treat, I think." Gabriel gaped at him. "You speak dog?" Sam gave him a look of disbelief. What? "No, Gabriel," he said slowly as though speaking to a small child. "Dean spoke dog once but the spell wore off." "What?" Gabriel said, laughing. "Are you serious?" "Yes" "Sammoose, I'm asking because the only spell I know that would do that also gives the person who drinks the potion aspects of whatever animal it is that they are trying to understand." At that Sam let out a genuine laugh. He asked Gabriel, "if I think of a memory, can you watch it?" Gabriel gave him a look. "Right, right, Archangel, I know. Anyways," he gestured with his hand for Gabriel to get on with it and thought about the memories of Dean being a dog, including the disturbing moment in which he'd been pretty sure Dean had been interested in a female poodle. Gabriel started laughing and Sam joined him, switching the memory to the one of Dean fighting with the pigeon. They both howled and then Sam's phone rang. With Gabriel still laughing, Sam answered, "Hey Dean. Are you back?" "Yes, I am. Is that Gabriel, laughing? Dammit Sammy, where the hell are you?" "Dean, relax man. He just brought me to show me his puppy. We'll be right there." Sam hung up immediately, before Dean started ranting. He'd enjoyed himself and didn't want Dean to ruin it. 

"Deanie-weenie is back?" "Yeah," Sam said, grimacing at the nickname. His brother would definitely not like that one. "Reason enough to use it on him." Sam sighed. 

Sam noticed that Gabriel gave Coyote a handful of treats before they left and his stomach did that swooping thing again. 

________

 

Sam felt a moment of disappointment that Gabe hadn't flown again, he just popped them right back to the bunker. He wasn't scared of heights like Dean. He would have liked a longer trip. He wondered what it would be like to watch the stars from a closer vantage point. Of course, Gabriel was reading his thoughts. He was surprised at the nickname he'd now heard Sam use twice. So the kid liked flying, huh? Gabriel wondered what Sam would say if Gabriel took him to the moon. The kid was a giant moose nerd, he'd flip his shit. Gabriel smirked to himself, tucking the thought away for future use. Maybe when the kid moose didn't hate him anymore he'd invite him out. 

"Where the fuck is Cas you bastard?" Gabriel looked up at Dean. Oh yeah, he was here about that. He'd been having such a good time with Sammy he'd forgotten. 

"Sit down Deanie," he smirked at Sam's face. 

Dean huffed and sat down. Gabriel gestured for Sam to also sit before taking a seat himself. "Out with it asshole." Gabriel sighed and with a thought took away Dean's voice. "Much better". At Dean gesticulating wildly, Sam looked from him to Gabriel in anger. "What did you do?" He demanded. And we were doing so well, Gabriel thought. Out loud he said "Nothing. Just took his voice away because he was getting on my nerves. He'll get his voice back once I'm gone. He'll try to talk me out of it and I won't be talked out of it. You both need to listen." Facing towards Dean he pointed at him and started to speak. "I took Cassie away because I love my little brother much in the same way that you love Sammy, Dean. And here he is being mistreated." Sam opened his mouth but closed it when Gabriel just shook his head at him before continuing. "Look, I'm going to be very frank, ok? Child abuse, Dean. I know you thought highly of your dear old dad but John was a crap parent, much like my dad. Yours, though, was worse. He placed way too fucking much on your head and that is child abuse. He didn't speak to you in a loving manner and as a result you're curt and not prone to chick-flick moments. Here's the thing though, my brother is newly human. And you told him that he wasn't much of a weapon and Dean, I know, I KNOW, you love Cas. I can see it. I can see how your very soul wraps around him, so please stop trying to deny it (Dean was very empathically shaking his head no). But you keep hurting his feelings because you don't know how to deal with yours. And I won't have that, Dean. So what I did was take him to a friend of mine. She'll teach him how to be human. How to dress. She'll teach him what it is to love and what it is to feel love in reciprocation. And I'm doing this because he's only ever known you and I don't want my baby brother in an abusive relationship. The next part is up to you, Dean. If you care about Cassie, at ALL, you'll go to therapy. And since you can't go to a mere mortal human for therapy, I'm going to bring my brother here. You'll like him. He's kinda gruff, like you, but he's got a good heart too. I talk to him when I'm having issues when I have problems and he's a good listener. Lastly, he can actually drink you under the table. I'm going to bring Cassie back, Dean, but it's going to be in three months. I need you to know what it's like to not have Cassie around. I want you to know what it's like to miss him and I want you to come into realization of your own feelings because my baby bro loves you, Dean. And I don't mean in a brotherly way. I mean fuck you, blow you way". Dean was beet red. And still shaking his head. He gestured for Gabriel to let him talk and against his better judgement, he decided to go ahead and hear him out. 

"IalreadyknowIlovehimbutImnotgoingtostickhimwithmeImapieceofshit" he rambled out all in one breath. Gabriel gaped at him before saying "Um, didn't anyone ever tell you you're the righteous man?" Dean scoffed and crossed his arms, looking away from him. Gabriel glanced at Sam who was just looking between him and his brother, brow furrowed deeply. "Sam, stop looking so damn worried, I'm not going to do a fucking thing to him." Sam didn't relax. If anything he looked more worried. Gabriel dipped into his thoughts and started laughing upon realization that Sam was freaking out about Gabriel having called him just Sam and nothing else. "Sammich, Samster, Sambino, stop worrying." And there he goes, Gabriel thought, at the bitchface Sam threw at him. Gabriel turned back to look at Dean. He decided to forgo his usual snark and use something he hadn't used in a long time. He spoke in the voice of the messenger. "Dean Winchester". Dean's face snapped back to his. "I am the Archangel Gabriel. The Archangel of Justice and the Messenger. Here is my message. You are the Righteous Man. Your soul is the brightest soul of all the humans. You belong with Castiel, Angel of the Lord." And then he smirked. And Dean laughed. "You serious, man?" "Deadly", Gabriel responded, this time with all the seriousness he could muster. "And my soul is still bright? I mean Cas told me that before but with all the shit I've done..."he trailed off. "Yes, Dean. Even after everything, your soul really is the brightest. And it's pure. I promise. Now, please remember that my dad is pan. He'll never care about you and Cassie so please stop thinking that." He said, pointing at Dean's head where thoughts of John calling him homophobic slurs when he caught him with a boy at a young age. Dean supposed he should let whatever his dad had said, go. If even God... he nodded at Gabriel. He usually didn't like the little shit but he could understand his reasoning. He wouldn't have liked Sam to be in an abusive relationship and he knew he needed help. They both did. He never wanted to hurt Cas. Ever. If Gabriel felt like he could actually get his shit together then he would give it his best shot. He glanced at Gabriel "Which brother is coming?" Gabriel smirked. You'll see when he gets here." 

Gabriel took in a deep breath he didn't need and then let it out before turning to Sam. "Sammy? Would you go on a date with me?" He flew away when Sam started laughing. He should have known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess which of Gabriel's brothers is coming to give 'em therapy???


	8. Ramble On-Led Zeppelin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, as you guys may have noticed, the titles of all my chapters are songs and since today's chapter will be centered around Dean, I figured what better song than one of his fav's? 
> 
> In other news, I hope you guys are enjoying this story. I haven't gone back to Cas and Akari yet because I haven't figured out the best way to get them started but hopefully the next couple of days will bring some inspiration. But first let's see what Dean and Sammy are up to. Enjoy!

Dean stared at his little brother, who was still laughing at what Gabriel had asked. Dean didn't get it. He was pretty sure his brother was attracted to the winged idiot, so why his reaction? "Sammy?" Dean questioned, softly so as not to scare him off. Sam wiped away his tears and responded. "What, Dean?" "Why'd you laugh?" Sam stared at him, not laughing anymore. "What do you mean why? You think he was serious?" He asked, pointing at the air where Gabriel had been. "Uh, I actually do think he was serious Sammy." His brother threw one of his many bitchfaces at him. "No, he wasn't. Why would he ever be interested in me, the boy with the demon blood? Hell, the boy who DRANK the demon blood?" Dean winced at the memory, it wasn't a favourite of his. He looked at his brother who was now walking away from him and shook his head. He didn't like Gabriel, he could be a real dick, but Dean knew that under all those layers of dick there was an angel, archangel, to be factual. And that Archangel was interested in his brother. His brother couldn't do any better. Dean sent up a quick prayer. "Gabriel, it's Dean Winchester. Look man, I know he laughed but he didn't mean it. I asked him about it and he said that there was no way you could be asking for real. That you couldn't be interested in the boy with the demon blood. Don't give up on him. I know he's interested, if that helps. Um, amen?" He passed his hand over his face. He hoped that had one through. Cas had told him more than once that his "prayers" left a lot to be desired. 

Cas. Even thinking about him hurt. He wish he could torture Cas's location out of Gabriel but...at the same time, he agreed with Gabriel, dick that he was. He knew in his heart that what his dad had done was wrong. Pretty much since his mom died his dad stopped treating them like kids and started treating them like soldiers. Hell, his dad had taught him how to use a gun at age five and would even get pissed off if Dean did it wrong. He'd tried to shield as much of it as he could from Sammy but he wasn't able to stop some things from happening. Like when Sammy chose to tell their dad he was leaving for Stanford while Dean was getting groceries. He'd come back to find Sammy with a busted lip and his bag of clothes in hand. Dean had gotten pissed. No one hit Sammy. That was the only time Dean hit his dad back. Sam left anyway and he ended up not seeing him for two years. That had hurt. He'd kept an eye on Sammy from time to time but never intruded because Sam had seemed happy. If he wanted the apple-pie life, then Dean was going to let him have it. Of course, after two years, he'd had to yank Sam back into the fold because their dad went missing and from then things just seem to steamroll. He sighed and stood up. He resolved for no more moping. He was going to work on himself and hoped that in three months Cas would still be interested in him. Hopefully three months wouldn't be enough time to find himself someone better than Dean. He had to hope. 

 

_________

 

Sam stalked toward his room silently fuming. Freaking Dean. Thinking he knew whether or not the Archangel was being real. Sam knew he wasn't. That's why he laughed. It was better to laugh it off then have to face being hurt when Gabriel revealed it to be a prank. He didn't even want to date Gabriel, did he? With a sigh he kicked off his shoes and went to lie on the bed, thinking of the pros and cons that were Gabriel. Pros: he was an archangel, that meant he was handy to have around but it was more than that. He sat with Sam when Dean and Castiel were busy going off on their non-dates ("Can't friends just go out to eat together, Sammy?"), he made sure Sam ate, going so far as to snap him up some salad, even if he did shudder in disgust when he did, and probably Sam's favorite thing and a major pro: he told Sam stories. Stories about being in Pompeii (right before Mount Vesuvius erupted) ("I wanted to stop it Sammy but dad said no."), stories of sitting on cumulus clouds, sipping mojitos, stories of sitting atop of the moon. And on one memorable occasion he'd sent Sam a text of the earth with the caption "wish you were here Sammy". Sam had saved that picture. 

He couldn't deny being somewhat attracted to him but how could he be when Gabriel could be blamed for so much? Then again, like Gabriel said, it wasn't just him that didn't do much, so why was he constantly ragging on him about it? Sam knew he had some thinking to do but at the same time he didn't want to alienate Gabriel so just before going to pray he sent up a little prayer. "Uh, Gabriel? Could you come here please?" 

Sam waited as long as his eyes allowed him to keep them open but Gabriel didn't come and when Sam finally fell asleep, he did so with a knot in his stomach.


	9. Pour Some Sugar On Me- Def Leppard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel goes to talk to his brother. Or should I say, Loki? ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pour Some Sugar On Me- because now we're going to see our favourite resident archangel go talk to his "brother". Our Gabey-baby loves his sugar and he needs some love this chapter so lets give him some, how's that sound? (Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Gabriel?) :)

Gabriel popped in to the hall in Asgard where Thor usually hung his hat. Sure enough, his brother was there, sipping on mead. He'll do perfectly, thought Gabriel. "Hello brother mine" his brother greeted him in a deep rough voice. "Hiya Thor", Loki responded. "It's been too long little brother." His brother responded. Loki shrugged and walked over to sit in front of him. His brother stayed quiet as he settled in and looked over his face. "What's wrong, Loki?" Loki tried to keep his face blank but clearly his blank face needed work. How does he always know? thought Gabriel. With a sigh, Gabriel responded. "I invited Sam on a date. Thought I could show him the world, ya know? But he turned me down. Well, actually, he laughed in my face. But, oh well, you know? Plenty of fish in the sea." "Sam? As in Sam Winchester?" "Yes." "As in the reason Odin is dead?" Gabriel stared at him. He'd forgotten about that. "Well, they did save the world." He responded. Shit, he thought, maybe Thor wouldn't want to help out Dean. 

"I have a proposition for you brother." Gabriel started and then stopped, gauging his brother's reaction. His brother's blank face was definitely better than his. Thor arched a brow at him. "Well, I, um see," now he was nervous about continuing. "Spit it out Loki." "Well, see, it's like this. You know my brother Cassie? He's in love with Dean-o, that is to say, Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester had a shit father, almost as bad as my own, Odin included, and I want Cassie in a good relationship and I wondered if you'd go and kinda, you know, give therapy to the hunter?" He finished lamely. Dad-dammit, he thought. He really hadn't thought this out as well as he should have. 

"Why me?" asked Thor. "Why not one of your other brothers?" He emphasized the word, knowing that Loki could ask any angel. "Angels aren't really in touch with their feelings. They don't know how to recognize them for what they are. We aren't really feeling kind of beings, myself and Cassie excluded. And I know that you've helped me out just by listening so I wondered if maybe you could talk to Dean and even Sammy about shit they've been through." "What kind of shit have they been through?" "Well, let me think, Dean has been to hell, he's been to heaven, he's been to purgatory. Pretty much the only things left are Valhalla and Hel. In hell, he was a torturer and a damn good one at that according to the gossip grapevine. Sammy was in the cage with my brother Lucifer, then he was popped out by Cassie, only Cassie left his soul behind so he was soul-less for a year, and then when he did get his soul back, Cassie broke the wall that Death put up so he spent some time in a psychiatric hospital, seeing Luci everywhere and that was when Dad brought me back and I helped put the wall back up. He's doing much better. Also, he used to drink demon blood. Oh and Dean was a demon at one point and also had the Mark, which, nasty business that. So, um, that's it in a nutshell." Thor was quiet for one minute, then two, then Gabriel started fidgeting. "Loki?" "Hmm?" "It's possible that Sam laughed because he thought you were kidding. It's possible that he wasn't rejecting you, he was just protecting himself. Beating you to the punch, you know?" Gabriel started at that. He supposed it was possible but at the same time, he knew, from reading Sam's thoughts, that he didn't like Gabriel. Whatever inappropriate thoughts Gabriel caught from his mind from time to time probably stemmed from Gabriel being in close proximity, after all, it wasn't like Sam could have a real relationship. 

Gabriel shook it off and then spoke. "I sent Cassie with a friend of mine in New York. In the meantime I'm going to spend time searching for his grace. He's human right now and he shouldn't be. Before he met Dean and became a Winchester my brother was a fierce warrior in heaven. He led his own garrison. It doesn't seem right for him to be so knocked down. That's another reason I need your help, brother. I took Cassie away because I wanted Dean to know what it was like without him but in the same vein, I kinda want to see how Sammy is without me. If he's just fine then that will be that, but, I don't know, maybe, just maybe he'll miss me too. But because I won't be there and neither will Cassie, I need someone to be there to back them up in case they get hurt on hunts. I know you can't bring people back from the dead but if you call me, I'll be there immediately. I just don't want to be there otherwise. What do you say? Will you help me out?" Gabriel held his breath as his brother took another drink of his mead, 

Finally, in his gravely voice, Thor responded. "Ok, brother. I will do this for you. It's been a while since I got out of Asgard anyway. How long do I need to pack for?" "Three months" "OK, give me just a few moments and I'll be ready."

Gabriel waited (impatiently) while Thor got ready. Finally, eons later (seven minutes) Thor returned, his special bag over his shoulder. Gabriel had always been jealous of that bag, it was very much a Mary Poppins type of bag. His brother probably had a whole city in there. 

Gabriel popped them back to the bunker, landing in front of Dean who already had his gun out and pointed at them. Gabriel grinned as Dean took his brother in. Thor, being Thor, was actually even taller than Sammy and all muscle, at least twice as big. He was impressive, thought Gabriel. Of course, not more than he because helloooo, Archangel, but still. 

"Who. The. Hell. Is. This?" Dean spit out. 

"This, my dear Deanie Weenie, is my brother, Thor. Thor, Dean Winchester." 

And with that, Gabriel flew off. He wasn't ready to face Sammy. Also, it was time to see how Cassie was settling in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I caught an infection in my left eye, assumedly from having left my contacts in too long. My eye is soooo swollen, (think Hitch when he eats the shellfish) and the light hurts so being on the computer is hell, but my creative juices were flowing, so I had to (sit here and hurt, lol). Anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying. And if y'all catch any plot holes, please tell me. I caught one earlier and I fixed it.


	10. Walking On Sunshine-Katrina & The Waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose Walking On Sunshine for this chapter because I've long since associated that song with Charlie Bradbury and that girl was one of my favs. I'm so glad they brought her back in season 13. Side note, I know Ketch was an asshole but he deserved a redemption arc you know why? Because meeting the Winchesters affects everyone in a positive way. Even Lucifer was almost ok when his dad was around. But I'm not a Lucifer fan so I never wanted a redemption arc for him and I'm glad he's dead. Needless to say, I'll never write a Samifer fic...or a Wincest one...or even a wingcest one bc I just can't. Groady. I know, I know, to each their own but they just aren't my ships so, shrug.

Gabriel landed in Akari's dojo and walked towards the voices. Akari was in the middle of settling his little brother in. Gabriel didn't plan on staying for long, he just wanted to make sure Cassie was still on board with the plan. "I think I would like to learn your method of combat" Gabriel heard Cassie say. "I fought a long time with my angel blade but as Dean says, it's always good to know how to use other methods. He says it's not wise to bring a knife to a gun fight." Gabriel arrived in time to see Akari give him a short bow. "Of course, Castiel. It would be my pleasure." Gabriel's heart warmed when he saw that Akari still treated his little brother with the same respect as she did he. Grace or not, apparently it didn't make a difference to her. "Thank you Akari. And please, feel free to call me Cas. My friend, Dean, has told me numerous times that Castiel is 'a mouthful'." Gabriel rolled his eyes as his brother raised his hands in quotations. Yeah, he'd done the right thing, bringing him here. Gabriel felt certain that Akari would take good care of him. Gabriel flew off, thinking simultaneously of how his baby bro talked about Dean every chance he got. He's got it bad, thought Gabriel. His other thoughts centered around Akari. There was just something about her that felt right. Something about her that made him feel comfortable. It triggered something in his mind. Something he hadn't felt in a long long time. Shaking his head of his thoughts, he landed in his apartment and the thought laid forgotten as Gabriel was greeted by a series of yips. "Hi there, Coyote. Did you miss me, boy? Didja?"

 

_______

 

Akari got her son settled in. She knew of Castiel and had brought him back several times when he proved to be everything the rest of her children were supposed to be, but she had never really gotten to know him. She smiled softly as she watched him put his clothes in the drawers and hung some in the closet like she'd taught him. Yes, even though it had been millennia since she was around any of her children, she was looking forward to getting to know Castiel. 

 

_______

 

Back at the bunker:

 

"Stay right there!" Dean pointed at Thor before inching his way slowly across him. "Sammy!!! Sammy!!!" He heard his brother running. "What is it, Dean? What is it?" Dean could only point. Sammy took out his gun and took a shot. And then Thor turned. 

"Amusing human. You are Sam Winchester, I presume?" 

Sam hadn't lowered the gun yet, his mind racing as to how they were to kill this...this "gigantor", his mind supplied unhelpfully, remembering the name that Gabriel called him, sometimes. Sam threw a bitchface at his own subconscious. 

"That's THOR" his brother whispered at him. That stopped Sam short. He glanced at his brother and noticed that his brother's face wasn't one of fear, or even rage, rather it was in awe. Sam glanced back at Thor. "You're Thor? Loki's brother? You're the therapist?" Sam scoffed. The Thor he'd read about was not a fucking bleeding heart. He was a goddamn warrior. 

"I don't know about therapist. But I am a good listener and Loki said both of you, but mostly you, Dean, needed to let some stuff out. I'm here to listen, talk, drink, and protect you during hunts. Loki won't be coming back for a while." For some reason, that Sam wasn't willing to look at closely, his heart dropped when Thor said Loki-Gabriel wouldn't be coming back. He definitely ignored the thought that rose, the one that said "I'll miss him." 

"You didn't answer my question. Are you Sam Winchester?" Sam had to look up to look him in the eye "This must be how everyone feels when they have to look up at me," he thought, errantly. "Yes, I am. Why?" 

Thor just snorted and mumbled something that suspiciously sounded like "my brother" and "size kink". Out loud, to Sam, he said, "Loki's mentioned you once or twice" or a million times, he thought, but chose not to voice that out loud. He eye'd as the kid turned red. Hmm, it looked like his brother was wrong. This kid definitely looked interested. "Well? Where am I staying, guys?" That shook Dean out of his stupor, ever the gracious host, Sam thought. His brother had changed drastically since they'd come upon the bunker. He was more relaxed, more himself...or who he could have been, had they not been dragged into this godforsaken life. Of course, he was rough around the edges but who could come out of this lifestyle unscathed? Either way, Sam, found himself breathing more easily. Gabriel may be on to something, was his last thought before following his brother and Thor (freaking THOR) out and towards the bedrooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo....Akari? ;)
> 
> Oh! also, my eye is much better. I remembered my dad telling me once that I could always go for a consultation with a pharmacist so I did that (to avoid paying ridiculous ophthalmologist fees) and sure enough, she was able to guide me to some eye drops that serve well for allergies. I had my roommate help me out with them and my eye was better within minutes. It's still crazy swollen, but at least now it's open and not crying as much so I'm counting it as a win.


	11. Symphony No.5-Beethoven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've been imbibing amounts that surpass copious. But, it's like, the only time I leave my apartment, ya know? And many times my "husband" is going out on dates and I can't stand to be at home while he's out so I go out too. Except I drink a ton more than he does. The sad part is that IDK why it bothers me. I have no intention of getting back together with him. None. I don't touch him at all. Honestly, we make better friends. We make great friends. I can even see us being best friends in another month or two but just rn, idk. It's rough. I know, I know, I'm rambling. It's just tough to talk about some stuff with people you actually know because they're all pitying and sorry and it's like, I don't need that. I just need you to be there. That's it. Anyways. 
> 
> I chose the title of this song as the title of the chapter because I've always felt like Cas would be a Beethoven type of man and this one and Moonlight Sonata are my favorite Beethoven songs. This chapter is going to include alot of Cas. Cas thinking and Cas learning. 
> 
> Oh! Someone asked me over on Tumblr. My age. I'm 28. I was born May 25th, 1990. I use the pronouns she/her and I'm equal opportunity when it comes to genders. :)

Day One:

Cas woke up to the smell of...something. It wasn't anything that he'd smelled before although he did recognize the smell of coffee. Carefully, he got up (He did many things carefully these days. Humans, he had discovered, had vessels with a propensity of getting damaged in the most minute of methods. Really, why should a mere paper cut hurt so much?) and put on the slippers and robe that Gabriel had snapped up for him. Akari had explained in detail what they were, how they were and even why they were. That's what usually got Castiel an exasperated eye roll from Dean. Castiel wanted to know why? Why were things? Dean had huffed his impatience the last time Castiel had asked him why highlighters were predominately yellow. Why the tip was like a small sponge. How it was that the ink didn't bleed through to the other side. Dean had snatched the highlighter from Castiel's hand and walked away, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. Castiel had felt small and stupid. He didn't even have his angel status to cling to as he'd done in the past, when he'd needed to convince himself that he had something he could offer Dean. Now he was just a human. Castiel loved humans. That's what his Father had wanted from them and Castiel felt like he'd delivered, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe that's why his Father didn't bother to reconnect him with his Grace now. Maybe Gabriel would be successful in finding it. 

Castiel walked down the small set of steps, following the smell of something delicious, jumping when the growl that came from his vessel's stomach made him start. Hungry. He was hungry. Idly, he wondered why vessel's got hungry. Maybe Akari would explain. "Good morning", he told Akari, his voice low and gravely from barely having woken up. "Good morning Castiel. I made us natto and a fried egg on rice. I also have miso soup. I have coffee and tea in case you prefer one over the other." "Tea?" said Castiel. "I've never had tea." "Yes, it's quite good and I have several different flavors there that you can choose from. I wouldn't recommend chamomile as that one is to make you feel calm and sleepy. Unless you're planning on napping the day away, then sure, by all means." Akari gave him a small bow and then turned back to the fried eggs he could hear sizzling on the stove. "Collect whatever drink you'd like and come over here, Castiel. I want to show you about everything." Castiel didn't know how to make tea and he resolved to ask her later but he knew how coffee worked and collected a cup of that, quickly, so as to learn as much as possible. 

Over the course of her making the meal, Akari explained many things to him. She taught him how to crack open an egg without shells falling in (this was something that had gotten Castiel yelled at by Dean one time he'd attempted to make pancakes back at the bunker), she taught him how to make miso soup, white rice, explained (patiently) why it was sticky and why other rices weren't. She taught him how to use chopsticks. By the time their meal was on the table, Castiel's head was full of knowledge and much to his delight it seemed that some angel-ness had stayed behind because he still had perfect memory. Before Akari sat down, she reached in to where her teas were labeled and showed the box to Castiel. She taught him about teas and their uses and Castiel tucked even more information away. He learned that Hojicha was roasted green tea. Mild with a slightly sweet flavor, best for an after dinner tea. He learned about Jasmine-Cha tea and as Akari steeped her tea and put the box back up, she explained its antioxidant benefits and what antioxidants even were. Castiel felt himself slowly relaxing at her patience. She had not scolded him even once. Hadn't made him feel ignorant nor mediocre even once. Even human he could feel respect radiating off of her, encompassing his body with a sort of warmth he thought he'd only ever feel as an angel. 

After breakfast, Castiel learned about dishwashers. He also discovered Akari was incredibly intelligent. She seemed to know much trivial knowledge and was even able to provide him the name of the inventor the dishwasher. Castiel was impressed. He hadn't known this was information humans could have...nor did he know that humans could want to have this information. Even though Sam occasionally knew information that slightly rattled Castiel, he still only knew information that revolved around hunting. Dean knew about hunting, his "baby", and classic rock. Castiel did not think Dean or Sam would know that Josephine Cochrane had been the inventor the dishwasher. Castiel decided he would make a point to let them know the next time he saw them. 

"What would you like to do next Castiel?" "Please," he said, "call me Cas." Akari simply nodded her assent while she waited on him to respond. Castiel thought for a moment. "Will you teach me how to fight with your swords?" "Of course, Castiel. We can train for three hours. One hour will be teaching you about the history of the katana and Japan but the hours after that I'll start to train you. This is going to require some body work movements as well but as we have three months and you already have some dueling knowledge, I am confidant that you will be ready in perhaps even less than three months. After that, we will shower and change and then I'm going to take you out to get to know New York. We'll pick up lunch while we're out too. How does that sound?" Castiel couldn't stop the grin that spread over his face. Not only would he be learned a skill that would make him more useful, but his new friend had the patience that he liked to envision his Father to have had. His brother Gabriel had done good. He was happy with his new arrangement and although he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Dean constantly throughout the morning, for now, and especially after being with Akari, Castiel was more than willing to follow his big brother's lead. 

Castiel followed Akari through the double doors that led to the exercise area and got started. 

_______

 

It had been such a long time since Akari spent this much time with one of her children. She was surprised that she hadn't thought of this when she created the angels. Castiel didn't know anything about being human. Maybe she should have included that knowledge in the kit. Still, she felt pride at Castiel. An angel and so willing to be human. She could read his mind. There wasn't an ounce of revulsion or repugnance he felt about being one. In fact, it seemed that his only regret was no longer being useful. That was another thing she'd have to fix. She never intended for her children to only view themselves as weapons. They were more than that. They were the embodiment of love and good cheer. Gabriel was love, laughter, good cheer AND good news. She vowed to make sure he knew that. That they all knew that. 

Akari knew that Dean flittered through his thoughts at a pretty much every other thought interval. Akari knew Dean Winchester. The Righteous Man. Akari felt sad at all the turmoil she read in Castiel's mind, that Dean and Sam Winchester had been through. She wondered when she had become so selfish that she'd allowed a Righteous Man to even be needed. All because she'd been unable to put the Morningstar back in his box herself. Taking a cleansing breath, she forced herself back to the present. Her son was here and she could tell just how great he was. She knew he was missing his Grace and when Gabriel found it and brought it back, Akari decided that at that point she was going to start righting some wrongs. It was time for her to be back.


	12. Traveling Riverside Blues-Led Zeppelin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I have to tell you guys this because IDEFK how I'm supposed to feel about it. So, DICK, brought a "friend" to our home after ensuring that I would be away for the night. I come home this morning and on OUR bed there are clearly two indentations. Two people were on OUR BED and I was not one of them. Um, what? Is that kosher? I haven't yet been mad since our separation but every time I walk by our room and see that, well, I feel something churning, burning, deep in my belly. Is this rage that I feel? Simmering away deep inside while I do my best to keep it under lock and key? Thoughts?
> 
> In other news, my eye is almost completely healed. There's just the tiniest bit of red but after that I'll be good to go. The drops that I used were CVS brand and it's for allergies, just fyi. The "name brand" version of the same thing were $24 and the ones I bought were $12 and they worked extremely well. 
> 
> I chose Dean's other favorite song as the title of the chapter because this chapter will cover Day 1 of Deanie-Weenie's therapy. 
> 
> Happy Reading!!

Day One:

Dean woke up the same way he usually did. With a start and a jolt, almost as though his heart was kickstarting itself again, ready for a new day. He immediately looked around the room, ensuring no physical threat and slowly expelled the breath he hadn't realized he'd kept held in. Maybe one day, he thought, he wouldn't wake up with a racing mind and a bated breath. He scoffed to himself. As if. He'd been a hunter his whole life. He doubted time, any of amount of it, would cure him of waking up like that. He padded over to the restroom and took care of his morning ablutions and then padded back out in search of coffee and Sammy. Normally he'd be moving along at a faster pace, to ensure that Cas was still there. Even after Cas turned human, Dean was still waiting for the day when he'd wake up and Cas would be gone. Dean put his thoughts on hold as he rounded the corner and came face to face with Thor (freaking THOR) and his little brother. Even though Sammy was many inches taller than Dean, he was significantly dwarfed standing next to Thor. The guy was just...BIG. 

"Good morning Dean." "Morning Dee", they both greeted him. He nodded at them, yawning hugely as he walked past them; reaching for the coffee. He didn't speak until after the first deep draw he sucked in. Damn it was hot. But it hit the spot. "Morning guys. Sammy, you've shrunk a bit." He smirked over his coffee. "Shut up jerk." "Bitch", he responded, good-naturedly. Thor just eyed them, amusement lurking behind his eyes. Dean turned to face him head on. "Did you sleep ok?" Thor nodded. "Good. So, what's the plan? How do we start this thing?" He gestured between them. Thor set his mug down. "How about we head over to your library? We can talk there. It'll last about an hour. Is this still a good time?" It was Dean's turn to nod. And start sweating. He didn't do chick-flick moments. He was a hunter for Chuck's sake. His only form of psychological help came in the form of Hunter's Helper. His stomach clinched. His instinct was to rebel but Gabriel's words came to his mind: "if you care about Cassie..." and that was his motivation. He did care about Cassie...Castiel, dammit, CAS! 

Dean turned to Sammy to see what his brother was going to be up to. "I'll be in the war room. Let me just scoop up my laptop." With that, he headed over to the library, Thor and Dean, in tow. "And then there were two." Dean thought, watching his brother walk out of the library, leaving him and Thor behind. The door closed, emitting a thud that sounded to Dean like the door of a cell closing. Dean immediately felt caged in. No way out. Behind him he heard Thor walk and taking another deep breath, Dean turned. 

"Sit down Dean." Thor mentioned to the couch and sofa, sounding for all the world like a psychologist that was waiting for Dean to talk about his troubles. At least it's not some lame apple pie life mid life crisis, he thought. Nope, his problems were of the manly sort. He'd been a demon for god's sake! Dean sat and turned to look at Thor who was already looking at him, expectantly. "Sooo..." Dean drew out.

He wasn't sure how to continue. Where he should start. His palms felt clammy again. Ugh. 

"Loki wanted you to talk and to think about why you deserve Castiel." Thor said. That was just it, Dean thought, he didn't deserve Cas. Cas had given up so much, so many times, because of Dean. He chose Dean over his own army. How could Dean compete with that? Thor caught his grimace. "Why don't you feel like you deserve Castiel, Dean?" "Cas," Dean corrected. "His name is Cas. And I don't deserve him because he's a damn Angel of the Lord. How could I be with that?" "Well, for starters, even Angels of the Lord, hell, maybe ESPECIALLY Angels of the Lord, they get to make their own choices, don't they Dean?" Dean nodded. Especially them. They were, as Gabriel (the dick) often stated, phenomenal beings of cosmic power. They could chose to do whatever the fuck they wanted. "So, do you not trust Castiel, I mean Cas, to make his own choices?" Dean nodded again. Of course, he could. He didn't always make the right choices, though, Dean thought, knowing exactly where Thor was going with this. Dean would definitely to be the wrong choice. Dean opened his mouth to say as much but Thor had already continued. "Dean, why'd you always follow your dad's rules?" Dean closed his mouth. He wasn't exactly comfortable talking about his dad. Truth be told, Sam had frequently as him the same question. He didn't know. He just did. He wasn't like Sammy, who questioned his dad at every turn. Maybe Sammy was on the money, he was the smart one who'd gotten a full ride to Stanford, after all. Sometimes, some days, Dean would see his brother in the library, nose deep in a book, and Dean would feel something that felt a lot like regret coil in his stomach. Sammy would have made a great lawyer. Dean knew that his brother loved reading and had loved the law. Dean, for lack of a better word, simply felt bad; at fault, that his little brother had had to give all that up. Maybe he shouldn't have followed his dad's every move. Maybe he should have followed Sammy's lead and also have finished school. He watched TV, he knew that these days one didn't have to attend class. They could simply do online classes. Maybe he should talk to Sammy about it. They would still have to hunt but neither of them were getting younger. Eventually they'd have to give this up and become something more of a home base, like Bobby had been. If they did that, then he and Sammy would have something to fall back on. Some way to still give back to the hunter community. Hell, Sammy could become the lawyer that the hunters could use when they got themselves into pickles. Dean could see it now. His baby brother, saving people, same family business, different methodology. Dean grinned to himself. Remembering where he was, he came back to reality. Thor was just watching him. 

"I feel like I just saw you have a eureka moment." He said after another moment, in which Dean hadn't said anything. 

Dean spoke up then. "I actually don't know why I always followed my dad, but now that I've been given a moment to think about it, I can tell you that it was wrong. He always saw things as his way or the highway, and maybe we didn't have many options then, but...it did just dawn on me, that now, we have other ways. Other ways that we can be flexible, still get what we want. Are we done? I've got something to say to Sammy. I know we didn't talk much..." "It's ok Dean. I don't really need you to talk to me. I just need you to set some time in which you think. Calmly and rationally. Just work through the problems in your head. The right answer will come to you. But Dean, if I may, I wonder if I could ask you how you feel about being the Righteous Man. Not right now, think about it. We can talk about it tomorrow." "Go." He pointed Dean to the door. Dean was sitting there, fidgeting like he had ants in his pants and Thor knew he was anxious to talk to his brother about whatever it was that he'd caught on to. Thor watched Dean practically race to the door. So this was the Righteous Man, Thor thought. He didn't know what he'd expected of the hunter but Dean was definitely not who he'd thought he'd be. Oh, he knew Dean loved his brother. The extent of their co-dependency was legendary. If you wanted to commit suicide all you had to do was mess with one brother and wait until the other caught up with you. Bam. Deader than a doornail. 

____

Dean caught sight of his brother as he raced past the war room. He had to practically slide to a halt, startling his brother, who whipped around, knife in hand. "Whoa! Whoa! Down boy" Dean said, hands up. "Dammit Dean. Don't do that!" Sam said. "Sorry little brother. I forgot your name was Samantha." Sam threw him one of his bitchfaces. The one that said "fuck off Dean". "I was looking for you, Sammy." "What? Did you somehow manage to find a case during your therapy session?" Dean glared at him and then got nervous. What if he was wrong? What if Sammy hated his idea? What if he felt Dean was just reminding him of what he'd lost? What if...? Dean snapped himself out of it. No more thinking. Time to act like the big brother he was supposed to be. Big brother's were there to help little brothers become all they go be, not to hold them back. He was supposed to encourage and if it came out as a chick-flick moment, well, so be it. Sammy was worth it. Dean put on his big brother face. "Sammy, sit down. I want to talk to you about something." Something in his tone made Sam listen and he sat down, inserting the blade back into its holster. 

"What's up, Dean?" 

He watch his brother eye him, worriedly chewing on his bottom lip. "Dean, spit it out." His brother was making him nervous, what could be wrong? Had they broken the world again? 

Dean knew his brother was getting nervous. Probably wondering if Dean had broken the world again. Dean took a moment to school his features. He pushed himself into the seat across from his brother. "Sam?" "What Dean?!" Dean waved his hand. "It's not what you're thinking, Sammy. It's just...well, what if...fuck it, I'm just going to say it. Sam, " he took another deep breath, here went nothing. "I was thinking, you were admitted into Stanford. That means you're probably a pretty smart guy, right?" Sam threw him a bitchface. "What the fuck, Dean? That's what you wanted to ask me? You're an asshole." Sam said, getting to move out of his chair. Dean blanched. Shit, this was going all wrong. "Wait! Wait, Sammy. I'm going somewhere with this, I promise." His brother sat back down, stony look on his face. "Fine Dean." "Sam," Dean ran a hand through his hair. "Look, man, it's just, I was thinking, that...maybe you should go back to school. Hell, I could go back to school." "Dean, if this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny." Sam stared at him. Dean stared back. "And what do you mean, you could go BACK to school? When did you go to school?" Dean sighed. It was time to come clean about yet another failure. "When you were gone at Stanford, I got my GED, but then Bobby encouraged me to at least get my basics. So I did. I tested out of some courses to speed it up and I did it. I was going to enroll in a university to study mechanical engineering since that's what i'm good at when dad disappeared. And well, you know the rest." At some point, his eyes had left Sam's face, and now dragged his eyes back. Sam looked aghast. "You what?!" He repeated after a moment. "You went to school?! Why didn't I know this Dean?" "Because!" Dean exploded. "You think I wanted to have to tell my kid brother that there was yet another thing I failed at?" "Failed? What have you failed Dean? Better than that, when have you ever failed? From where I'm sitting, you've done a lot, you're capable of more, and you've done it while being my damn parent and taking care of me. So, please, tell me, when have you failed?" Dean glanced away again. He hadn't responded when Sam, forever the nerd, asked, "What made you decide on mechanical engineering, Dean?" His tone curious. Pleasure filled Dean and in that moment he decided he was going to have an honest to Chuck, chick flick moment, manliness and reputation be damned. He grinned at his little brother, sat back, and started smiling. "Let's talk, little brother. And after we do, we'll talk about school and I'll tell you my plan."

Sammy sat back, still surprised at his brother's carefree attitude. Only one session, he thought, and Thor is already working miracles.


	13. Andante, Andante- ABBA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK if I've ever told you guys (I don't think I have) but I have a blog wherein reside some impressive rants, LOL. Not, like, about humanity, Trump, or any politics for that matter. It's mostly about my long road from my dad dying, to me become morbidly dark as my paranoia and hypomanic episodes came to fruition (and peaked) and then you can read my clarity coming into focus once I was put on pulls. 
> 
> Go check it out. Have some laughs at my expense. I won't mind. It's called Unequivocally Uninteresting. It's on Blogger and I'm on there as Naomi Sifuentes. 
> 
> Love you guys

Castiel did another pull up, absentmindedly going through his new routine, as his mind flitted over the last couple of days. He felt like he had already learned so much. The first day, after they'd come back from seeing New York (and having gyros for lunch, a meal that Castiel definitely would include in his future), Akari had taught him a workout routine- one that included pull ups. Akari said it was important for him to have upper body strength. Castiel had asked her what that was but she waved his question away and told him to first learn the routine and that later she'd explain. Castiel had nodded and allowed himself to be walked through the routine. Akari had immediately noticed another angelic trait that apparently hadn't left him yet. At least not completely. He was still insanely strong. Promptly she set the weights at the highest level and told Castiel to use that until she could have Gabriel snap him up something heavier. Castiel had learned about pull-ups, push-ups and his least favorite, burpees. When he mentioned as such, Akari let out a soft chuckle and told him those were everyone's most hated. Castiel understood. 

After he finished his run (which Akari said was to help his thighs and legs bulk up), she told him to take thirty and go shower and get into something comfortable. After he was done, (he put on a Metallica t shirt and some lounge pants, something he knew about because Dean had actually explained those to him) she sat him in front of her computer. "Ready to learn?" she'd asked. Castiel nodded. "Ok, this is Google..." Akari explained Google, how it worked and then explained Wikipedia. "You are a why person," she explained, patiently. "To find the why to anything, look for it on Wikipedia." "Do you know how to type?" Castiel nodded again. Sam had taught him and Castiel frequently used one of the Winchester brother's laptop to find cases or to research cases. He, however, hadn't know you could find other information on there. Akari noticed his intrigued look and told him to enter anything he wanted an explanation about. Cas thought for a moment before carefully entering "chick flick moments" into the search bar. Akari laughed. "I take it there's a story there?" Castiel explained that Dean would often comment that something was becoming such a moment but that he'd never understood what it mean. He stopped talking as the page loaded and he soaked in the information. Ah, he thought. Now I understand. Chick-flicks. Yes, he understood. 

Castiel's thoughts continued, unfiltered. The following day, after breakfast (in which Akari waited until he was up to start on so he could learn how to make that too), they'd completed another katana lesson. As the previous day, Akari gave him more background information and then slowly started the action part of the lesson. Castiel was learning. It seemed that millennia of being a heavenly weapon had taught Castiel some nifty tricks. Akari was still about to take him down though, since his experience was not one that included a sword. After his lesson, he'd again showered and changed and they'd left to visit more of the city. Akari was doing a good job of mixing in tourist things and native things. He found himself enjoying both experiences. He'd visited the 9/11 Memorial (especially since he was able to read what it was) and had felt sadness at hearing the recordings of those that perished, messages they had left for their loved ones. Watching the airplanes actually hit the towers had brought tears to Castiel's eye and he cried freely as he sat there, in the dark theatre, watching a video that showed people falling freely from the very top of the buildings, preferring to chose their way of dying, rather than waiting for the fire to get them. Castiel wondered if Dean had ever been there. He and Akari walked out of the museum, a somber look across their features. "Would you like something to eat?" Akari asked him. Castiel had kicked a pebble with his shoe and shook his head. He wasn't hungry. He couldn't get the picture of a shoe that someone had donated to the museum. The story behind the shoe had been that one of the survivors had run away from the wreckage, running and running until her feet were blistered and bleeding so badly, the blood had run down in rivulets on the side of the heeled shoe. Still looking down, he looked up at Akari through his lashes. "We could have done something to prevent it." He whispered softly, readying himself for what he expected to be an onslaught of accusations. Akari stared at him. "There are some things you aren't meant to stop." At that Castiel looked up, meeting her eyes properly before he spoke again, this time in a stronger voice. "Destiny? Are you trying to say it was Destiny? Be we-I-don't believe in destiny." "You don't?" Akari sounded surprised. "No. I used to before Dean-before the Apocalypse-but Dean and Sam Winchesters were 'destined' (Castiel lifted his hands to put the quotes around the word) to be the vessels to the two strongest archangels that existed and they said no. They stopped it. And they taught me, Dean taught me, that no matter what destiny and fate have in mind, humans have free will and they do not have to do anything they do not wish to do." Akari didn't say anything, simply nodded. She understood. Probably better than he knew. 

"Come on," she said, suddenly. "I'm going to show you this place that's a favorite of mine." She reached down and clasped his hand. Castiel looked down in surprise. His inclination had been to snatch it away. He normally did not like for people to touch him, save Dean, but something about Akari's touch warmed him. He could feel it even now, wrapping itself around his grace, in a method that almost had him arching back. What was this? Castiel did take his hand back then and silently followed Akari. 

They entered a tea shop, Steamin' Mugs, and Castiel copied the type of tea that Akari chose. It was a jasmine rose and smelled very good. "We'll take them to go, please." Castiel looked at her in surprise. He had done a quick scan of the tea shop as soon as they were coming in, taking note of the placement of exits, the way Dean had taught him. He'd noticed several couches humans could sit in to enjoy their tea as well as several stand alone seats. He had assumed, incorrectly it seemed, that they would be partaking of their tea there. Akari caught his look and simply said "you'll see" before turning back to sign the receipt the barista had printed out for her. Castiel watched as she left a tip and then followed her again as she guided him out the door, handling him his as she opened the door with her hip. She led the way down two blocks one way before turning to the right and walking down that way for three additional blocks. Castiel just walked beside her silently, not needing to speak any words, his mind still trying to sort out what had occurred earlier. Something was not right. He was, he could tell, having a gut instinct. "Gut instinct, Cas, is when your stomach tells you something isn't right." Dean had said, pointing to his own stomach. Castiel had tilted his head, "I was not aware your stomach had speaking capabilities, Dean." Dean had rolled his eyes. "It's a figure-oh, forget it." 

"Here we are", Akari spoke, bringing Castiel back to the present. Castiel squinted against the sun as he looked up to peer at sign that was over the door. Happy Foot Massages, it read. He turned to Akari, eyebrows raised in question. "We're going to get pedicures, Castiel. They feel great and while we have them we can sip our tea and relax. Come, trust me, you'll enjoy them. I've yet to meet a single person who hasn't." "Ok," Castiel acquiesced. He was not sure about this but Gabriel wanted him to experience humanity and if Akari thought a pedicure would do it, then he'd trust her. 

Inside he was greeted and he, once again, stood by Akari as she noted what they would like to do. The female human smiled brightly at them both. "Couple?" she inquired, waving her hand between them both. "Couple of what?" Castiel asked, head tilting. Akari laughed. "No, just friends," she explained. "My friend here is Cas and he's never had a pedicure." "Oh, you come to the right place then." The lady waved for them to follow her. Castiel followed and watched her actions wearily. He'd noticed the other patrons in the building and from the looks of it pedicures involved something with...feet? No, Castiel thought, the sign said Happy Foot. Castiel wondered how he was supposed to pick which foot. He looked to Akari for guidance but she was already sitting down, both feet in the basin. Maybe they will simply charge more, to do both feet, Castiel thought. If so, that was ok, after all Gabriel had left them unlimited cards. Castiel watched as the lady, (Castiel squinted at her name tag) Tammy, came over to do something to his chair. Castiel lept up. His seat was moving! And he had no weapons! A voice registered in Cas's brain. Laughter. Akari was laughing openly, clutching her stomach as she did so. "Cas," she tried to breath out. "Cas! Sit down." Castiel sat, feeling his bones rattle in his vessel. What in his Father's name was this device? He heard Akari speak again, no longer laughing. "I'm sorry I couldn't explain, it was just really funny. Pedicures work like this, Cas. You come in, pick a pedicure, you sit down here, feet in the basin. They'll turn on the massage chair and you relax while the massage works to get rid of the kinks in your body-in your vessel-" she correctly quickly, seeing the look on Castiel's face that she'd quickly become to recognize as the one that was about to say "this is not my body". "It'll feel good. In a minute they'll come over and massage your feet, clean and trim your toenails, and massage your calves. It will feel really good. All we have to do is sit here, have our tea and relax for a while. If you want to talk you can, if you want to nap you can, or if you just want to sit here quietly, we can do that too." Castiel had calmed down by then, feeling the rollers in the massage chair roll over something in his neck he hadn't even realized hurt. It also felt really good when it went all the way to his lower back. By now his attendant had come over and while for a minute he was ticklish, by the time "Erik" got to the massage part of his "pedicure", Castiel was biting back a moan. It felt so good. He wondered if Dean had ever experienced this. 

________

 

After their massages, Castiel was feeling relaxed and he realized that he'd calmed down enough from seeing that terrible Memorial to be able to eat now. He mentioned as much to Akari who immediately pulled out her phone and showed Castiel all the choices around them. This was another thing Castiel liked about Akari. She didn't just chose for him, she showed him, taught him, and then let him make a choice. Castiel, as much as he enjoyed cheeseburgers and beer with Dean, was happy for the choices. There were many he had never tried and decided to go with one of those. "How about this Mediterranean place?" "Sure", came Akari's response. "Their gyro's are amazing." The restaurant, Sahara Cafe, was only four blocks the way they needed to head in and as they walked Akari told Cas all about Mediterranean fare so that Castiel would know more or less what to expect. 

Castiel loved the gyro. He'd chosen one with basmati rice and chicken kabobs. It had mayo, lettuce and tomato. It was delicious. Afterwards, Akari had shared her eggplant dish with him and that was also to his liking. Castiel followed Akari out the door, feeling proud of being human; being able to enjoy so many things. 

As they headed up to the dojo, the sky grew darker, the sun setting. They'd passed the last alley before arriving home when "wallet or your lives." Castiel immediately placed himself in front of Akari. He silently cursed himself for not having a single weapon. Dean would be so mad at him. Castiel's swift move startled the robber and he pushed his hand outward, slashing Castiel's arm. Castiel flinched but didn't do anything else. It was just a cut. He'd been through much worse. "You need to move along." "I said I want your wallet or your lives." "I don't have a wallet and I doubt you want my life. I used to be strong, useful, now I am nothing." Akari, who had been silent thus far, finally spoke up. "Look, buddy, you don't want to mess with us. Get lost." "Look, BITCH," that's as far as the hooded figure got before he had his feet swept out under him by Cas, who instantly made a grab for the blade the assailant had been holding and turned it on him. "Do not call her that." He ground out evenly, his voice low and threatening. "Get up and walk away before you are not able to." Something in his eyes made the pick-pocketers own widen and he lifted himself up and, taking one last look at them, ran off. 

"You ok?" Akari asked him. Castiel just glanced at her and then his arm, before nodding. "Yeah, it's just a scratch." They continued on. 

_________

 

Once they got to the dojo, Akari insisted on looking at Castiel's arm. She knew it wasn't just a scratch. She was going to have to stitch him up, even if she could have healed him with merely a glance. "Hmm," she thought, "he is human. I can insert a tiny bit of Grace to make it heal faster and he won't know." 

 

_________

 

Castiel had almost forgotten about what he'd felt earlier but when Akari was stitching his arm, he felt it again. The warmth. And he remembered his gut instinct. "Would it be ok if I was to use your computer?" He asked her. "Of course, Cas. You needn't even ask." Akari brought him her laptop as he positioned himself on the bed. "Here you go, let me know if there's any assistance you require, ok?" "Ok, thank you, Akari." Castiel gave her a small smile. He almost felt guilty for what he was about to do. Not even to not do it, of course, but still, a little. He pulled up the Google page and then clicked over to the Wikipedia page. There was something he needed to know first. Typing quickly, he entered "gut instinct". Castiel read the page. It basically meant intuition. Something inside of him was hinting that everything was not as it was. Castiel's stomach churned. He liked Akari but what if she was some type of monster? But Gabriel trusted her. Could his brother be betraying him? Had Gabriel left him here to get killed. Every part of Castiel rebelled at that thought. No, Gabriel would not do that. 

Castiel closed the laptop and thought about what Dean would do. Dean would treat it as a case. He'd get all the proof, do the research, and then "gank the motherfuckers". Castiel smiled to himself. He wondered if Dean missed him. Castiel missed him. Shaking off thoughts of Dean, Castiel decided that even imaginary Dean was right. Cas needed more proof. 

________

 

Akari's voice, coming around the corner brought Castiel back to the present. To his surprise he'd finished all his workout already. He hadn't even noticed. He smelled the coffee before he saw it and he smiled as Akari came in. "How'd it go?" she asked him. "Good. I think I like pull-ups." "I wonder if your vessel's human did too. You have definition on your abs that normally people don't have unless they do pull-ups." That made sense to Castiel. Cheeseburgers were also something that Jimmy had enjoyed and in turn Castiel did too. 

"You ready to start your lesson of the day?" "Breakfast?" Castiel asked. "Of course. Today, I'm going to teach you how to make french toast." And with that, the two friends walked out into the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was this? Was this too long? Too many unnecessary details perhaps? What did you guys think?


	14. Ojala Que Te Mueras- Grupo Pesado

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend to write a chapter today (so if it's crap, you know why) but I'm having an absolute shit of a day and this is the only way I feel better. Even though I have a blog. It's just that writing the characters helps me take my mind off of it, ya know? Anyways, I hope it's to y'alls satisfaction. 
> 
> Dick told me today that he wanted to have a kid with me. It kicked me in the stomach how much I've bent over and fucking rolled over for this fucking guy. I mean what wife is cool with her husband being with another guy and feels no sense of rage or anger or anything at being told she's still the most important (read:only) fucking woman in his life? I mean really, where has my sense of self worth been all these fucking years? On a bloody vacation? What the flying fuck? When did I allow myself to become this? Someone who doesn't deserve respect? Am I reading too much into this? I don't even fucking know whether I'm supposed to be upset or not. He said everything that was happening was our brand of weird and not anyone else's business. I know we're weird, we always have been, but is this not crossing a line? What am I supposed to do here? Sigh

Day Two:

Sam woke up breathlessly. He'd had nightmare after nightmare tonight and even awake, his memory reels were still showing image after image. Jessica burning, Dean being shredded by hellhounds, Dean being a demon, trying to kill him, Dean after purgatory when Sam had witnessed the crazy in his brother's eyes. Gabriel dying. Sam felt something touch his hand and he lifted it, surprised to see it wet. Why was his hand wet? With trepidation he lifted his head to look up at the ceiling, half expecting to see someone up there. There wasn't anyone up there. Sam looked at his hand again. Maybe he was going crazy. Wouldn't be the first time. He flinched at his own thought and the movement caused him to feel the wet on his face. The fuck? He touched his hand to his face and realized his whole face was wet. It had been a long time since Sam woke up crying. Dean must have knocked something loose when they'd had their talk the prior day. Sam stilled thinking about that conversation. It was definitely not something he had ever thought he'd hear come out of his brother's mouth. 

Dean had sat back and smiled at Sam. A smile Sam hadn't seen in years. It was genuine and filled with pleasure. Dean had talked at length, something that also surprised Sam. His brother didn't talk much and especially didn't have moments but last night they had. Dean told him about mechanical engineering and why he'd chosen it. He talked about the walkman that he'd turned into an EMF reader so long ago and how that served as his inspiration. That and keeping up with his "Baby", something Sam knew he didn't actually need a degree for, Dean knew everything about that Impala. Afterwards Dean talked to him, asked him how far along he'd gotten in his law degree and asked him about his classes. For the millionth time that night Dean surprised Sam by actually asking questions about the classes and listening. 

When they were done, Dean had suggested that Sam get started on enrolling them into a university that would allow them to complete their degrees completely online. But first, "Dean, do you remember what you got on your SAT's?" He had to know, otherwise there might be universities that wouldn't allow him in. His brother blushed and mumbled, "174". Sam had sat back, stunned. He knew, he KNEW his brother was smart but what the actual fuck? "Dean. Wha...what the fuck man? That was MY score and I got into Stanford!" Dean had looked at him, "So, it's good? I didn't actually know." Sam had shaken his head. Of course he didn't know. Dean never thought he was good enough even though he was everything and more. Sam had immediately gotten to work, starting with Stanford. Hey, they'd allowed him in once, maybe they would do it again. 

Dean knocked on Sam's door. "You up, Sammy?" Sam internally rolled his eyes, shaking himself out of his thoughts. "Yes, Dean, I'm up. I'm going for a run before breakfast though." "Of course you are" Sam heard his brother say as he walked away. Sam grinned to himself, one of these days he'd get his brother out there with him. 

 

_________

 

Sam got back to the bunker, showered then changed and finally made it to the kitchen where Thor and his brother sat eating. "Yours is over there, little brother. I made you a spinach omelette." Dean mock shuddered and Sam cuffed his neck. "Don't knock it 'til you try it, Dean." "Unless it's pie, I don't want it." Came back the reply. "Or bacon." 

Sam sat next to his brother, across the seat from Thor. Thor seemed to be enjoying the same food as his brother, bacon and eggs, with hash-browns. Sam grimaced as he imagined all that fat and cholesterol clogging up his arteries. Just as he was about to admonish Dean, yet again, about his grease intake, Thor spoke up. "Samuel?" "It's Sam." "Would you like to talk to me today?" Sam stiffened. He didn't want to. Not really. He was a fucking Winchester for Chuck's sake. They didn't do talks. 

Dean caught his attention by waving a piece of bacon, half chewed, in the direction of his face. Sam leaned back, "what Dean?" Dean opened his mouth: "Chew your food or talk. Pick one. Not both." Dean rolled his eyes at him but actually listened and swallowed before speaking, although he did open his mouth right in Sam's face. "Don't do that jerk." "Shut up bitch, I'm showing you I swallowed." "What you do in your own time..." "Sam!" Sam started laughing. He enjoyed seeing his brother turn bright red. "Alright, alright. What, Dean?" Dean composed himself before continuing. "I think you should talk to Thor." "What?" Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing his brother say. Winchesters didn't talk. What the fuck? At his tone, Dean blushed before continuing, "It's not like you think, Sammy. He didn't make me talk, he just made me think. I think we have enough shit that would keep us occupied for centuries, don't you think? You don't have to talk if you don't want to, just think." Sam stared at his brother. He definitely didn't know this side of Dean. He'd never seen it. Ever. 

"Dean?" "Yeah, Sammy?" "Are you ok?" "You wanna test me, Sammy? Feel free." Dean responded, rolling up his sleeve and displaying his arm out to his brother. "Dean, why would YOU agree to this?" Dean turned red again and his response came, albeit mumbled. "The dick said that he didn't want Cas in an abusive relationship and I don't want him in one either." "You...and Cas?" Dean jerked up, seemingly having forgotten that he'd not told this part to his little brother yet. Sam had been there when Gabriel talked to Dean about Cas, he just wanted to yank his chain. Sam waved him off, "I don't care about that, Dean, I just meant, it's about fucking time." "You knew?" "Uh, duh, anyone with eyes knew. You aren't exactly subtle, Dean." Knowing that anymore ribbing would make his brother embarrassed, Sam dug in to his omelette, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He remembered that he hadn't actually answered Thor yet. He glanced across and saw Thor eyeing him. Not wanting to speak with his mouth full (He wasn't DEAN), Sam stuck out his hand, thumb up, and hoped that got the message across. Thor nodded. "Hey!" exclaimed Dean, punching Sam on the shoulder. Sam smiled into his omelette. 


	15. Ni Tu Ni Yo-Jennifer Lopez FT Gente De Zona

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We haven't seen almost ANY Sabriel so before we move any further I need Sabriel in my life and I need it now. 
> 
> My life is still in the shits but I swear to Chuck, writing for you guys, your comments, your kudos, even watching the amount of HITS go up, they all help. In short, you guys are my fucking therapy.

Before his therapy session, Sam made his way to the bunkers' restrooms when: 

"Hiya Sammy." Sam whirled around, blade in hand. Gabriel just arched a brow at him, "Really Sammich? I thought we'd already cleared that your weapons can't hurt me." Sam glared at him. "Stop calling me all that stupid shit. My name is fucking Sam." He didn't know what it was about the Trickster that really set him on edge. Maybe it was his inability to ever take anything seriously. Maybe it was his ability to hurt Sam in ways Sam hadn't even thought up and never would for fear that he'd be giving Gabriel ideas. Gabriel laughed. "What ideas, Samster? What do you think you can possibly think up that I haven't already." Before thinking Sam said "turning us into girls, de-aging us, making me short." The last one actually made Gabriel gasp. "Sambino! That one! I hadn't thought of that one!" And then he snapped. 

________

 

Just like that, Sam found himself face to face with Gabriel. He looked down at himself. Hmm. So this is what is was like to be "average height". Soundlessly, he still snorted at Gabriel's favorite phrase. Average height for whom exactly? "I acquired this vessel a long time ago. Average height for back then." Gabriel told him, glaring at him defensively. Sam couldn't help but laugh. Ah, so he did have buttons. Gabriel's eyes narrowed and Sam laughed harder. And then Gabriel smiled. A big wide smile. Dad-damn, this kid was beautiful. He would absolutely be the death of him. "It's nice to see you laughing, Sammy." Gabriel said, voice significantly softer than he had intended. He snapped his fingers again and Sam was back. "There you go, back to your regular Sammoose size." Sam had stopped laughing but was still smiling down at him. That reminded him...

Gabriel snapped again and now he stood eye to eye with Sam. Sam blinked, surprised as get all, and then looked down, as though he were expecting Gabriel to be standing on a box or some shit. "You can do that?" He breathed out. It was Gabriel's turn to laugh, his eyes much closer than normal, beautiful whiskey coloured eyes...that he was most definitely not thinking about. "Of course Sammy. Helloooo Archangel." Sam rolled his eyes. Of course. "How come you're not permanently like that?" Honestly, Sam already knew the answer. Gabriel didn't need to be tall to be powerful. There were times when just being close to Gabriel made Sam feel short. "You're mostly right on the money there Samerino. You're just forgetting one thing." Gabriel smirked and Sam knew, he KNEW, he was walking into a trap but he HAD to ask. "What?"

"I won't get bigger because you have a size kink and so do I." And with that Gabriel threw him one last wink and snapped out. 

Sam continued on his way to the restrooms, thinking about what Gabriel had said before shrugging. Hey, when he was right, he was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, world's smallest chapter but I just needed a little bit of Sammich and Gabe in my life and maybe later today I can concentrate and make Sam's therapy session all the more worth it. 
> 
> Oh! Sorta a sneak peek: Sam will find out more about Loki and what makes him tick from Loki's second favorite (Castiel is going to be the first, fuck the other archangels) brother. 
> 
> Hey, there's a story that someone is writing (not me) called Lucifer Deux...you guys should totally check it out. Someone found a way to seamlessly crossover Supernatural and Lucifer (the TV show). Their work is amazing and makes fucking sense like u won't believe. There's absolutely nothing that's "unbelievable" about it.


	16. Never Enough-The Greatest Showman On Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting harder and harder to stay alive. To stay grounded. I feel like I just want to float away.

Sam sat nervously, almost twiddling his thumbs, shoulders hunched over in an attempt to make himself appear so small he might as well have disappeared, as Thor sat in front of him, face impassive as ever. They'd been sitting there, neither speaking for almost a full ten minutes before Sam cracked. 

"So...what am I supposed to be doing here?"

"Why do you think Loki thought you needed therapy?"

Sam barely held a snort in as he thought about his life. Different thoughts of what to say came and went in his mind before settling on the first time he set eyes on the trickster because they were there because of him after all. 

"I met Loki when we were working a case. It had plenty of weird surrounding each event but it was Bobby who finally pointed us in the right direction."

"Bobby?"

Sam winced. It was still hard for him to think of Bobby. "Yeah, he was basically our dad. He passed away some time ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Thor said, moving his hand to the coffee table to pick up a cup Sam wasn't entirely sure had been there just a moment ago. "What happened next?" 

Sam stared. "Surely Loki's told you this before." 

"I'm just here to talk you through different emotions. Tell me any story you want, regardless of whether you think I've heard it or not."

So Sam did. He told him about the crocodile, losing his shoe, the aliens, the purple nurples and from there moved toward Loki killing his brother over and over and how he finally figured out that it was a trickster behind the whole thing (Thor had nodded and just said continuity errors like it was commonplace). Sam talked about hunting Loki for the following six months and how Loki had finally brought Dean back. He talked about TV Land, how Loki had turned him into a fuggin CAR (Thor had had to fight back a smile at that one) and lastly how Dean had figured out Loki was an angel. 

Thor wasn't smiling anymore. Sam went deeper, talked about Gabriel and how he'd given them shit about not choosing a side but then dying for them anyway. He'd gone up against Lucifer for them and he died and Sam felt like he hadn't been able to mourn properly for him. 

Throughout the "session" Sam had been looking down at the floor. Now, though, he brought his eyes back up to meet Thor. "I don't know how or why he's back. And he definitely won't just talk to me either." "You've tried?" Sam was about to nod when he realized he actually hadn't. His eyes opened wide at the realization and without thinking about it, he asked Thor "Has he told you?" Thor gave a careless shrug. "we've talked". Sam wasn't jealous, per say, to be jealous he'd have to actually CARE about the archangel first and he most certainly didn't. Still, it sorta bothered him that someone else knew information on Gabriel that he didn't know. 

The truth was that Loki or Gabriel or whatever could be an asshole but sometimes...like when he took Sam to meet Coyote or when he...you know, DIED for them, something tugged inside of Sam. 

Sam looked towards Thor again. "You think there's more to him than meets the eye." It was a statement, not a question. 

Thor hit back at him, not maliciously but to make a point, "Isn't that true of most everyone? I mean, should you only be looked at by events of your past? You and Dean started the Apocalypse. You're the reason my dad is dead (Sam's eyes widened again. He'd forgotten about Odin.), you're the reason my brother is dead. But there's more to you isn't there? There's all the people you've said. Sure you got blood on your hands, hell you've drank blood (Sam flinched. He'd almost forgotten about that.) but you also jumped in the pit. You came back soulless. You were willing to complete the trials. That's a lot Sam. And my brother is the same. You've got Loki who is the god of mischief and giving people their just desserts for the bad things they've done and you have him combined with Gabriel, the angel of justice. Yeah, he's heavy handed on the pranks and meting out justice but you know what else you have? Someone who time and time again has helped ensure that Asgard is safe. That Asgard is protected. You've got someone whom, from what I hear, all the angels loved. I've heard he was warm. That he was love. That he was laughter." Thor stopped talking. 

Sam still stared. He was processing. He knew some of this already, having long since learned that Loki's tricks back at the university were done to give people his own personal brand of justice. But warm? love? laughter? He could see laughter. Sometimes, against his better judgement, he found some of the shit that Gabriel did to them (especially Dean) pretty funny. 

He shook his head. Maybe he just needed to get to know the angel better. Because it seemed that after the three months were up he was coming back to stay. 

 

___________

 

Unbeknownst to them both, Gabriel had sat in for the last part of Thor and Sammy's talk. Right around the time where his brother was telling Sam about his past. He'd almost revealed himself. Sammy was already an emo angsty human, Gabriel didn't want anyone hurting him but before he announced his presence, he'd stopped and seen that Sam wasn't shying away from Thor's words, he was leaned forward, listening, really listening to everything Gabriel's brother had to say. Hmmm, thought Gabriel, before taking off. Maybe, just maybe, Sammy would see he wasn't all bad.


	17. Lonestar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lonestar is not a title of a song, it's the name of a country band. They are good. Probably my favorite country band. Of course, the KING, aka, George Strait, is my favorite country singer. Did I mention I live in the Lone Star State? I love country. 
> 
> I've gotten to know some of y'all on Tumblr and it's a been a pleasure. Thanks for reaching out. XOXO

"They put up a plant, where we used to park  
that old drive-in's a new Wal-Mart  
the cafe is closed, where our names were carved on that corner booth  
Yeah, everything's changed except for the way I feel about you."

Sam had been walking by the bunkers restroom's when he'd heard a voice. He'd stopped, just inside the door, and stood, shocked at what he was seeing and hearing. Apparently Gabriel had decided to come shower (since when did he shower?) and was singing what sounded like a country song. Sam admitted to himself that the voice soothed him. Rumbling and in a deeper pitch than Sam had heard from him before. He stood long enough that Gabriel sensed his presence. "That you, Sammich?" Sam rolled his eyes. What was it with the damn nicknames? "I could always call you Samuel." Sam shuddered as he heard Gabriel let out a laugh. Only his dad called him that...and a couple of the angels had. The bastards. Sam heard Gabriel laugh harder. He started to walk away when he heard it again and it stopped him in his tracks. "That westbound to Santa Fe don't stop here anymore   
You were one of the last to get on board. That street that we grew up on you wouldn't recognize. Boy's nothing's been the same since you said good-bye." The immensity of what was happening hit Sam hard and goosebumps broke out through his flesh. He was hearing an angel sing. Not just an angel but an archangel. All of a sudden, shame hit Sam. He had been treating an archangel like shit. A bloody archangel. He was in the presence of one of the most powerful beings in the world and he had no respect. "Sammmmmy, I can feel you angst-ing from here." Gabriel called out, in his normal sing-song voice. Sam didn't roll his eyes this time. Instead: "I didn't know you could sing, Gabriel." Gabriel was quiet as the shower turned off and then he opened the curtain, fully dressed. "I feel tempted to say, helllloooo Archangel, but I won't Sammy," Gabriel said in an uncharacteristically somber voice. "I'm an angel but more than that I was the messenger. That title gave me two things. I'm the fastest flyer and I have a beautiful voice. No joke, it's the best one amongst all the angels." 

Sam just stared, his mind racing, synapsis firing away, wanting him to sit down and study Gabriel. Find out everything he could learn from him. Gabriel hadn't moved. He waited for Sam's mind to slow down and then continued, "You know I invited you on a date and I know you're not interested BUT if you ever want me to take you anywhere, just say the word. I'll still take you. No tricks." He finished, putting his palms up as if to show Sam his innocence. 

Sam cleared his throat. "I think...I think I would like that Gabe." Gabriel's eyes widened slightly. No one had given him a nickname before. He felt himself grow hot, his blood pumping faster. He lost control of his grace for just a second and Sam jumped when one of the lights exploded. "Sorry, sorry," Gabriel said quickly. "I just forget that I'm in a vessel sometimes." Sam nodded. "Where would you like to go, Sam?" Sam couldn't even begin to imagine and he stood there, just staring at Gabriel, a slight helpless look on his face. "How about, " Gabe started slowly, "How about if I start off by taking you to some of my favorite places and then you can start getting ideas from there?" 

That sounded good to Sam, who nodded again. He still hadn't recovered enough to use his voice apparently. Gabriel gave him a grin and the brightness of it hit Sam right in the feels. He could melt underneath that smile. He could swim forever in the depths of those whiskey coloured eyes. He could, "Uh, Sam? Not to poke fun, kiddo, but you're thinking pretty loud there." That snapped Sam back to the present and he turned red. Gabriel didn't mock him, just laughed softly. And then because he was Gabe, he started "I think you like me. You wanna kiss me. You wanna make love to me." all in a sing song voice. That did it. Sam laughed. He actually laughed. Gabriel was stunned still the way he always was when the Samster actually let go. And then Sam looked down at him and he fucking grinned. Gabe saw the dimple and his hand automatically went to clutch his heart. This was it. This is how he was going to die...and he couldn't think of a better way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short chapter. I was listening to Lonestar on the way home from the psychiatrist's office when I thought of this and wanted to fit it in because I don't like when Sam is disrespectful. Yeah, Gabe can be an ass, but he has the right to be. He's bloody archangel and a god and he's willing to hang out with you Sammy so show some chuck-damn respect.


	18. Eagles/Seagalls- Hello Shark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all check out this song. It's really fkn good. Imma tell you my secret to having the widest range of music genres in my playlist. I read, a TON. Everything Sabriel and Destiel. I used to read normal books but back in May, I got addicted to fan fiction and since then that's all I've read, save for a book on Norse Mythology bc, hellloooo, Trickster. Lol. Seriously, though, that's why I read it. I wanted to know all about Loki, Asgard and everything in between. 
> 
> Secondly, I know this happened a couple chapters ago but I wanted to let you guys know that Happy Foot Massages is a real place. It's here in Texas, off of Bryant Irving. Sahara Cafe is also real. It's an EXCELLENT Mediterranean place that's in Manitou Springs, CO. 
> 
> Lastly, Texas has been featured in many a fan fic but it ALWAYS comes with a negative connotation because we're a red state. I just want to say that the boys will be visiting Texas in this fic and I'm from Texas. We welcome everyone. As I've said before, I'm bi and both my roommates (one was formally my husband) are gay. Please, I beg you, keep us in mind when you use Texas as the place where the boys and their angels get called bad names and shit. We don't do that. Promise. 
> 
> Without further ado. Let's check in on Cas. It's been a minute. OH! Before I forget. I was able to write about the 9/11 Memorial well because I've been there. It's as sad as it sounds. Here in Dallas, TX we have the Dallas Holocaust Museum and it's equally as somber. My heart goes out to any one who has family that were in these terrible places. I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry.

The Friday that marked the end of his first week with Akari, Cas actually woke up before her. He wasn't surprised, he'd planned it that way. Akari had been teaching him how to make many things and although they went out to eat frequently, she'd also taught him what she called American basics. Hot dogs, chili dogs, Frito pie, French Toast, chicken pot pie but this morning Cas decided he was going to put what she'd shown him to good use and cook for her. Cas had it all planned out. They were going to have eggs, bacon, and french toast. He was going to offer her coffee, tea or hot chocolate, a favorite of his brother Gabriel, and something Sam had actually taught him how to make back at the bunker. Cas had checked the night before and knew they also had orange juice and cranberry juice. He'd let Akari decide which she wanted to drink. 

As quietly as he could, Cas completed his morning lavation and went down the stairs as quiet as a church mouse. Castiel smiled at himself for that. He'd gotten very used to Wikipedia and had looked up many sayings and quotes and now liked to amuse himself by directing them his way. As he made his way down, Castiel wondered how Dean was faring. Maybe he hadn't even noticed he was gone, Castiel thought sadly. Or maybe he was relieved not to have to be teaching an incompetent human. Castiel shook his head to rid the negative thoughts. Akari and Gabriel had both told him not to think of himself that way. That he wasn't meant to just be useful. Unfortunately a lifetime of being only that made it a little harder for Cas to think of himself of anything besides a tool. He'd been a warrior. Not a guardian angel, as he'd told Dean and Sam when he met them. He was the leader of his own garrison and none of them were soft with each other, themselves, or anyone. He was created to serve and protect. Not to be thinking of feelings and his own well-being. It was like having to relearn everything he'd been taught.

Castiel was still pondering about all this when he reached the refrigerator and he stoop to think about how many eggs he'd need. He'd have two, over medium, (he didn't like runny and one morning Akari had patiently made him all the different types until he understood the differences) and Akari would have two. Fried. and then he'd need four to soak the slices of toast for the french toast. Nodding to himself, he removed eight eggs and set those to the side. He bent again and brought out the bacon. With that, he set to work. He started with heating the pans he'd need and then got started, cracking the eggs, with the practiced ease of someone who'd been doing it their whole life. He definitely hadn't but Akari had let him practice on two dozens of eggs until he was able to crack an egg single handedly. Castiel watched as his hand practically moved of its own accord. It fascinated him how muscles could be taught. Akari told him that. Castiel had been surprised because he'd never known that muscles had memory but Akari explained that he was actually familiar with it. They'd been sparring when she proved it to him. In a move that surprised Castiel, because it was the way an angel moved and used their blade, Castiel had automatically blocked it. "See?" Akari had said. "You didn't even have to think about it. Your muscle memory did it for you." Castiel had understood. He understood muscle memory now but later, as he showered, he realized that was he didn't understand was why Akari had known that move. Recalling his goal of getting proof, Castiel locked that piece of information away. Maybe it was coincidental but Dean had told him things were rarely coincidental. Not to mention his gut instinct had kicked in. And Dean told him to never doubt his gut instinct. Castiel remembered what he read on Wiki (humans shortened everything, Castiel had found). His intuition was trying to tell him something. Castiel thought it over while he dipped the pieces of toast (Texas Toast bc it was extra big, just like everything in Texas, Akari had told him. Castiel hadn't understood it until he sought aid in The Wiki. Now Castiel understood. Everything was bigger in Texas), and then neatly started to cook it. 

"Good morning Cas," Akari startled Cas out of his thoughts. He glanced at the clock but it still wasn't the normal time they woke up. It was earlier. "It smelled good," Akari smiled, answering his unasked question, "the smell woke me up." Castiel nodded. He understood that. That happened frequently to him too. Especially when Dean cooked. It was like his body knew it was Dean and woke him up. "

"I have coffee, tea, hot chocolate, orange juice and cranberry." Castiel informed Akari. "Oh, wow. That's quite the spread there, Cas. The food smells delicious and looks it too. You really are coming along quick. You've only been here a week." Castiel nodded. He didn't understand why some of his angelic-ness had remained while the rest (the most important parts, his mind supplied snarkily) was gone along with his grace. Castiel didn't even know how he was alive. Did he have a soul now?

"No, I don't think so." Castiel's head snapped toward Akari. What? "What?" He voiced out loud. He was certain he hadn't directed his very internal question out loud to Akari. Akari's eyes widened, just ever so slightly, that if Cas hadn't been Cas he would have missed it. But Dean was right when he said Cas had laser vision. He caught the flinch that Akari did. His heart thumped loudly and rapidly. Castiel knew he didn't have any weapons but although something felt off about Akari, Castiel had to admit that she didn't feel threatening. More like she was simply lying by omission. Instead of praying for Gabriel, which was his instinct, Castiel simply stood and waited for Akari to explain herself. 

"I...it looked...the look..." Akari was stumbling over her words. Finally she took a deep breath and answered. "It looked like maybe you were thinking about going home. I answered the question you didn't voice." Cas's head tilted. He looked straight at her. "You're lying. You're lying and you're hiding something but you don't feel like a threat so I'm not going to call Gabriel." 

And with that Cas turned his back to Akari and proceeded to pour himself cranberry juice (good for his kidneys, The Wiki had told him). 

He left Akari to serve herself.


	19. Fare Thee Well- Marcus Mumford & Oscar Isaac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm reusing this title because I this chapter is going to be all about Akari, aka Chuck, and Fare Thee Well was the song Chuck sang to Metatron (canonically) right before He went to chat with the Winchesters about the darkness. 
> 
> OMC, so I looked over the last chapter and I realized I never finished telling y'all why I have so many different genres of music. As I was saying, I read a lot and sometimes you guys include song lyrics or song titles. Well, I use that as a guide and I download all the songs. Of all of them, there's only ever been one that I deleted and that was because it included the flute and every time the flute part come on, it made me cringe. It, honest to Chuck, sounded creepy af. I kept it for about a month, trying to get used to it but it was to no avail. I couldn't. Finally I just had to delete it.

Akari could read her son. She knew he was becoming suspicious. It appeared her Grace reached out to her children whether she wanted it to or not. She didn't mind, not really, she just thought she had more time. Or maybe, she'd underestimated Castiel. Which was actually really dumb since her young son had the determination and fight necessary to go against her other stronger children. 

She stood there and watched as he turned around and gave her his back as he poured himself some juice. She was pretty surprised that he would do that. She wondered how much it cost him to do so. As a warrior, no way he'd turn his back on the enemy. She wondered why he did it. She wondered if he even realized he'd done it. 

Silently, she joined him, pouring herself some juice. 

She cleared her throat. She wondered if she should tell him. She wondered if she could tell him. Truth be told, Akari was afraid of the rejection her son might give her. She wondered if he'd demand to know where his Grace was. Akari decided to throw caution into the wind. 

She knew he'd ask for proof. And she couldn't give him that. If she did, all her children would be there within seconds and she wasn't ready for that. But how...

Fuck it, she thought and then smiled to herself. Clearly she'd been in New York too long. 

Before she could lose her nerve she spit out, "Castiel?" He stiffened at the name. "I mean, Cas?" He turned slowly to face her, brow arched, face stoic, and once again, she took in her son. He stood there, every bit a warrior and once again it came to her mind that she should have let her children know just how much she fucking loved them. If she had, Cas wouldn't have to be here, looking nothing like a son and only a soldier. It made something inside her burn. 

"I...um, well, I'm your dad." 

It made her let out a small chuckle and a smirk when Cas looked her up and down and said in his deadpan voice, "Yes, you look just like my DAD." Still smiling she answered, waving her hand around, "Vessel's." At that Cas's eyes widened. "Father?" His stance became even more rigid, shoulders straightening, back ramrod straight. It was breaking Akari's heart. Her son was trying to be who he thought she wanted him to be. 

"Cas," she began. His eyes widened impossibly further. Akari could read he was freaking out about insisting she call him the short version of his name. She quickly shook her head. "Cas is fine, son. It suits you."

Her words startled him out of his shock and he quickly moved to kneel but she stopped him. "Please don't," she began, softly. "I haven't been that 'God' in a long time. I don't require or want that." 

Castiel stared at her. "Heaven is in disarray." She shook her head again. "Don't worry about heaven, Cas." He stared at her, agape. She gave him a small smile. "I'm going to fix it. It would just take a snap, for me remember? But not now, my children have a lot to learn about free will and doing what's right. I won't be teaching them anything if I just step in and fix all of their messes." 

"Does Gabriel know who you are?" "No, and I'd prefer if you don't tell him anything just yet. He's on a journey himself. He's learning. In order for anyone to go back or become who they are supposed to be, they have to go through a journey. Do you understand?" Castiel nodded. 

After a beat: "Is that why you feel so warm?" Akari chuckled again and nodded. "Yes, it seems my Grace reaches out to my children whether or not I want it to. I'm surprised you felt it." Cas nodded before speaking, "I still have some of my...well, I've been calling it angelic-ness, Dean called it angel-ness. I must still have just a smidge of my Grace, because yes, I can still feel it. How can Gabriel not?" "Actually he can, he just hasn't been around me long enough to realize what it is that he's feeling. He thinks he just feels really comfortable with me."

Castiel was now moving, putting food on both their plates, before turning and motioning towards the table. "That makes sense, since everyone has assured me time and time again that you were dead, I doubt he'd understand that it's been you all this time." "So? What's on the agenda today, Father?"

Akari was surprised. She'd thought Castiel, no, Cas, would have been all over her, wanting to know where she'd been, why she left, why they existed...etc. But no, here he was, calming changing the subject. She was...relieved? Impressed? Once again, it came to mind that there was more to Cas than met the eye. But, well, she had to ask.

"Cas?" He eyed her over a forkful of egg. "Why did you turn your back on me?" He stilled and reddened. Since he was still eating, he pointed at her and then his mind. Akari understood. "Because there was nothing that I could have done anyway. I do not have my Grace anymore. I'm a human and I do not mind being human but without weaponry of some sort there was nothing I could do or use to defend myself. I am nothing."

Akari nodded at him and watched his eyes go round before realizing what was happening. She was crying. It was hard to talk in such a state so She pushed her thoughts at him. "Cas. I did it wrong with the angels. You guys are warriors and are tools but I never meant that to be your be-all. You were only supposed to be weapons against places like hell or anything that came at heaven. It wasn't supposed to be your entire persona. You are loved. Here, feel my warmth. You are a person. You are my child. Grace or not, you are never nothing. Ever, Castiel." She pushed her warmth out at him, enveloping him wholly. His eyes closed and as it wrapped itself around him more and more, his back arched at how good it felt. Slowly, she allowed it to recede. Castiel swallowed and then said, "Thank you Father." "Cas, don't call me that. It makes me feel old. How about just dad?" Warmth filled her son's eyes. He liked it. He nodded eagerly back at her before pointing at her plate. "Eat, dad."

She laughed and dug in. Man, her son could cook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think of Akari coming out to Cas? Yay or nay?


	20. Love Some More- Chris Brown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's what's been happening in my life. You guys already know about my husband, yada yada. I decided to move out and I already found a place. I move in September 15th. I know it's almost a month from now but I'm not quite ready to say good bye. I'm scared. I feel like as soon as I leave, he's going to forget all about me, regardless of the 13 years together we spent together. And I know that the fact he's already in another relationship should be indicator enough that he's already begun to forget but...idk, rn he's still coming home (most of the time) to me. As long as he sees me he will continue to remember. 
> 
> What can I say? I'm clearly a masochist. Sucker for punishment, thy name is Mia. 
> 
> Moving on, the last time we saw Dean he was told to reflect on what being the Righteous Man meant to him. Let's see how he's feeling.

Dean stretched out on his bed, a smug smile playing at his lips. He was proud of his talk with his little brother. He hadn't acted like a big brother in a long time. Sure, he kept an eye on Sammy, but taking actual care of him? No. That saddened him. He couldn't believe he'd let himself stray so much from his true purpose in life. His baby brother needed more than someone to keep an eye on him. He wasn't going to go dark side. No, he needed someone, he needed Dean, to encourage him to continue looking towards the future. To give him, them, a purpose in life. How could he have forgotten that? He berated himself. So much for being the Righteous Man. 

That stilled him. He remembered Thor's words: what did being the Righteous Man mean to him? Dean scoffed as he adjusted a pillow behind his head and kicked off his shoes. What was Righteous about him? He literally started the apocalypse. Sure, Sammy literally brought the devil out, but it was he, Dean, who had caved and ultimately broke the first seal. It was HIS act, not Sammy's that was the beginning of the end. He knew Sammy didn't see it that way and that was on him. Somewhere along the way he forgot it was his fault and it became easier to blame his brother. Shame filled him as he remembered what it had been like when the angels came to him, like he was some pure soul, while no one, not even Cas, listened to Sam "The Boy With The Demon Blood" WInchester. Dean's ego had been fed and he essentially started siding with them instead of his brother. Maybe, just maybe, if he'd kept his trust in Sammy, maybe if he'd taken control of things that were his fault, Sammy wouldn't have felt compelled to start believing in a goddamn demon. 

Dean sighed. This was why he didn't do chick flick moments or therapy for that matter. It was just too hard to think about this shit. He sighed again. He needed to though. He needed to hold himself accountable for his mistakes and misdeeds if he was ever going to recover enough for Cas. Speaking of...

Dean had been watching Dr. Sexy earlier that day when a commercial about spousal abuse come on that offered, at the bottom of the screen, a weblink that anyone who felt like maybe they were being abuse could check their situation against. That had given Dean the idea to check into both spousal abuse but also child abuse. Dean reached over and grabbed his laptop. He hoped it worked. Sometimes it didn't. Stupid viruses. 

Sure enough, his computer stalled. Dean let out a sigh of irritation and pick up his phone:

Dean: Sam, will you bring me your laptop?

Sam: No, Dean. Were you watching porn again? You're not a fucking kid anymore, Dean. How does this still happen?

Dean: Come on, don't be a bitch. I wasn't watching porn. Swear to Chuck. 

Sam: Jerk. I know you're lying. Why else would your computer freeze? I'm omw.

Dean: I don't know what that means. Did you misspell something. 

Sam: Acronym, Dean. Duh. Google something sometime. You might learn something.

Dean: You still didn't tell me what it meant.

"It means I'm on my way." Sam said, standing at Dean's door. "Jesus, Sammy, you scared the shit out of me." Sam threw him bitchface number 3, a mild one. "Don't fuck up my computer, Dean. What do you need it for anyway?" Dean reddened and Sam's face switched to bitch face number 16. "Seriously? No, Dean! You canNOT watch porn on my computer." Sam turned back out the door way. "No, Sammy! Come back! I swear! No porn. It's...it's research." "Research? Do we have a case?" Dean reddened even further and his shoulders slumped. He was going to have to come clean or his brother was not going to let him borrow his computer. "I'm looking up child and spousal abuse." Dean continued looking at the floor, waiting for Sammy to laugh, and a minute later looked up. Had Sam left? No, he was still there, a look of surprise on his face. "You're serious about Cas then huh?" "It's been ten years Sam. Yes, I'm serious." Dean retorted. Sam smiled. "I'm happy for you. It really is about time." He moved to hand the computer to Dean. "I was getting tired of all the eye-fucking." 

Sam had to run out the door as Dean leaned over, grabbed his shoe, and threw it at his little brother.


	21. El Farsante-Ozuna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what Dean will find. 
> 
> I told DICK that I was moving out. He responded with, "so you're not going to see me anymore?" Sigh. In his mind, it's always about him. But that's ok. I take my blame in it. I fostered that, gave him the ammunition he needed to bring me to my knees. Whether it was on purpose or not, he hurt me. He's killed my soul. And still I can't cry. I can't give him that power. I've given enough. Dignity, soul, heart, mind...everything.

Still grumbling under his breath, Dean Winchester settled himself back into bed. He still had to give the Righteous Man thing more thought but for now he was going to do some Google-ing. 

Pulling up the right page, he chewed on his lip first before settling his internal debate of what to start with. He was going to start with child abuse. Maybe if he understood himself, he could understand spousal abuse better. 

Typing, Dean waited until the page loaded. His room was pretty secluded and although in the common areas, the Wi-Fi worked perfectly, in his room, not so much. His page was still loading. Dean got irritated quickly and thinking fast he sent up a quick prayer. "Hey Gabriel, could you make my internet work better? With the warding and the fact that it's a goddamn bunker, I'm trying to do your homework but am only getting nowhere fast." No sooner had he finished that his page loaded. He quickly clicked on another link and when it came up right away, he knew Gabriel had heard him. Reluctantly Dean spit out a thank you. He could hear Gabriel laughing even though he wasn't present. 

Shaking his head and muttering about dick angels, Dean went back to paying attention. 

 

_________

 

Thirty minutes later, Dean leaned back, mouth agape. There was more than one type of abuse. After reading through physical abuse symptoms (in the broad sense it was when a child was purposely physically injured. Dean immediately thought back to all the times his dad was drunk. Dean had received more than one black eye, more than one busted lip. And the time that his dad found him with Benny, he'd given Dean a concussion and broken two ribs.), Dean almost wanted to throw up. He knew now with certainty that his dad had physically abused him; however, what angered him was the realization that although he had saved Sammy from most of the worst, there had been times when Dean wasn't around to save him. Like when Sam told their dad he was leaving. His dad had hit Sam with a two x four. A fucking two x four. Dean had only found out when he came home and Sam was gone, their dad was on the couch, nursing his umpteenth beer of the day, and a piece of wood was on the ground. 

Dean ground his teeth as the memories flooded him. He'd failed Sammy, his baby brother, in more ways than one. He'd let him be abuse. Because he was too stupid to know what it was and too dumb to know what to do about it. Dean felt tears gather in his eyes and for once in his life, let them fall. Fuck chick flick moments, this was about his brother. Sammy was a victim of child abuse. Dean had to stand up quickly as he ran to the restroom and threw up. Less than a minute later Sam came barreling through the door. "Dean! Are you ok? Do you feel sick?" Dean couldn't do anything but shake his head, no, even though he did, indeed, feel sick. 

After he threw up two more time, Sam rubbing small circles on his back (a fact that made Dean cry harder), he was finally done. Gingerly, he stood up and went to rinse his mouth with mouthwash before turning to his brother who was sitting on the edge of the tub, worry in his eyes. "I'm ok Sammy. That...that research was, well, it was harsh." "That bad, Dean? To make you throw up? Jesus, what are you reading?!" Before Dean could stop him, Sammy was already walking out of the restroom, opening the laptop and scanning it quickly, he stiffened and looked at Dean who was looking at him from the doorway. Dean felt like he was going to cry again. He knew Sam was probably thinking that Dean had let him be abused. But I didn't know, thought Dean, desperate to make his brother not look at him like that. 

"Dean?" Dean glanced up. "Did, uh, did dad ever hit you that I don't know about? It seems to be affecting you pretty hard and I'd like to know why. I already knew dad was an asshole. This isn't anything new, really. Did you not know this?" Dean bit his lip, feeling guilty as ever. He looked down at his feet and then at his brother again, much to his dismay in that quick glance, his eyes had filled with tears again. Sam's eyes widened in realization. Of course, how could he be so dense? Dean was worried about him.

"Dean," he said softly. "Look at me." Once Dean did, he continued, "I already know we were both victims of physical and emotional abuse Dean. I've known that practically since it was happening. I never brought it up to you because you aren't the type to talk about it. But Dee, nothing that happened was ever your fault. I wasn't your responsibility, Dean. You're only four years older. How could you watch over me when you were only 8 to my 4? How, Dean? Please don't blame yourself. Please, Dean." 

Sam felt terrible. His brothers shoulders were hunched over. He knew that more than thinking about himself, Dean was thinking about him. He always was. Silently, he called for Gabriel. Asked Gabriel to read his memory and to please help, as the Archangel of Peace. He knew Gabriel had listened when he felt a slight fluttering through his mind. (Later Sam would wonder how the fuck he'd felt comfortable enough to ask yet another angel to delve into his mind, least of all, Gabriel. But in that moment, Sam didn't mind. If anything...having Gabriel in his mind sorta...filled him with warmth of all things. Thor had been right. Gabriel felt like sunshine after endless cloudy days, he felt like a warm bath after a hunt done in freezing temperatures, he felt like a warm towel, fresh out of the dryer. That stunned Gabriel. Lucifer had been so cold. He thought all angels were like this. Apparently Gabriel ran hot. "I am hot", he heard Gabriel say. If they weren't in such a dire circumstance, Sam might have actually laughed.)

Gabriel appeared before them. Dean immediately looked embarrassed to have been caught in such a vulnerable situation. "What?" He asked Gabriel, tersely, all the while looking at Sam suspiciously like he knew he'd been the one to call him. Gabriel lifted a hand and warmth covered both Sam and Dean. They felt it permeate in their bones. They felt...was that peace? "What are you doing Gabriel?" Dean asked him, his voice void of any emotion, irritation or otherwise. "Well, as Sammykins here reminded me, I am also the archangel of peace. So, viola, peace." "That's not..." Sam began, looking at Dean apologetically. "I know Sam. But your brother was almost catatonic. I needed to bring him back to reality to be able to explain and he actually hear it." Sam hid his surprise again. Was Gabriel actually helping them?

Gabriel just glanced at him, exasperation written on his face, before turning back to Dean. "Hey Dean. I'm going to share something with you, ok? They are memories. Memories that you don't remember and memories that Gigantor over there has. They will help you, I promise. And before you ask, no, it's not a trick. Can I?" He inched forward, two fingers held up. Dean stared, unsure of what to do but decided to go with his gut feeling. He nodded. 

Sam shifted on his feet, a little worry written on his face, wanting to defend him if need be against the trickster/archangel but knowing there was nothing but Dean wasn't afraid. He actually took a step forward towards the archangel as Gabriel did the same. And then Gabriel put two fingers to his head.


	22. Not A Day Goes By- Lonestar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling shitty. I wanted to go out and have a drink but no one was available. Most of the ppl I usually call on have kids, I guess this was their weekend with them. Sigh. 
> 
> Dick made a comment today that shot me straight into the slumps. I told him that I was moving out a couple of days ago and it didn't hit me until today that he never asked me to stay. So I was already feeling down, but then our roommate was cleaning our closet, folding Dick's closing and whatnot (I'm pretty sure he's in love with Dick. Unrequited. Poor guy.) when Dick, in an extremely chirpy voice, exclaimed how happy he was to be having his own closet pretty soon. Our roommate saw my face before I could mask it and I just heard him say, "oh no". Ugh. Feelings suck. 
> 
> Anyways this song says "If you asked me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine; but the truth is baby, if u could read my mind. Not a day goes by, that I don't think of you. After all this time, you're still with me it's true. Somehow you remain locked so deep inside. Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by."

Dean staggered back as the memories hit him. Memories he didn't even remember but apparently the dick-no, Gabriel, had been able to make resurface. Other memories were memories that weren't his but his little brother's. There he was, four years, looking over Sammy who was gurgling away at Dean, tiny pudgy hands waving at him. His big hazel eyes locked on his; he already had his puppy eyes, Dean saw. 

There was Dean, holding Sammy, their mom, their beautiful mom looking at them with a tender expression in her eyes. And Sammy? Sammy had his fist wrapped around Dean's fingers while Dean's other hand held his head carefully because it was Sammy. He was responsible for him. 

Then there's Dean, catching Sammy as his dad all but throws him at four year old Dean and Dean's sitting on the car, watching the house burn, their dad sitting soundlessly next to them, not even acknowledging them, eyes blank. But Sammy? Sammy's still watching his brother. 

Gabriel continues the memory reel but lifts his other hand as he watches Sam shift restlessly. He holds his other hand to Sam, asking him with the gesture if he'd like to join. Sam hesitated but steps forward and presses himself to his angel's fingers. 

The scene shifts and Sam and Dean get taken to Sammy being one. Dean is five, learning how to hold up and shoot his first gun. His dad starts yelling in exasperation and Sammy starts to cry. Dean turns to get him and his dad pulls his arm in an effort to get him to pay attention but Dean isn't having it. He yanks his arm back, glaring at his dad and runs to Sammy as his dad watches him go. Sammy had been sitting up facing them and he memory shows his dad running his hands through his hair. Real time Sammy wonders if that's where that movement came from. Both he and Dean do that. 

Dean runs to Sammy and Sammy feels peace envelope him. His big brother is here. He is ok. Sammy's memories show the way Dean carefully lifts him up and checks his diaper (it's clean) before moving to the kitchen, with Sammy on his hip, as he warms him up a bottle. Sammy falls asleep in his brothers arms, absently playing with a piece of hair that's grown out. Dean's hair is long at this stage. They don't have money to spare for haircuts. It all goes to ammunition. Sammy falls asleep because he's with Dean. He's safe. He's loved. 

Dean is ten and Sammy is six. Sammy is wondering where their dad is. Dean doesn't tell him. He can't. He has to keep him safe. That's the rule. Sammy stays safe. That night, in that rinky dink hotel, the boys fall asleep after Sammy cried because it's his birthday and his dad isn't there. But tonight Dean falls asleep first and the memory shows Dean how Sam stares at him for a while playing again with the hair before snuggling into him. The memory shows both boys that Sammy shrugs before closing his eyes. He shouldn't have cried. That's not even his dad, anyway. Dean is. Dean is his dad. And as always, Sammy falls asleep feeling safe. 

Sam is ten. It's Christmas and he wants a book he's been looking at. He's trying to convince his dad that it's a lore book anyway, so they should have it. His dad says no and Sam sits back in the backseat, shoulders hunched while unbeknownst to him, Dean is looking at him through the rearview mirror. Memory shows Dean storing away the name of the book. He's fourteen. He can work now. He will find a way to get Sammy that book. He's Sammy. The rule is take care of Sammy. 

Their case takes them to Washington State. It's a nasty banshee. The body count is up to six dead, including two hunters who already tried to take it out. John tells Dean's he's going to have to sit this one out and then eyes Dean suspiciously when Dean just shrugs. Eh. He didn't want to go hunt. He has a book he has to find a way to get. Luckily, the small city they're in has a McDonald's, the only restaurant Dean knows for sure will hire him. He's able to claim prior work experience at a small mom & pop shop from their last city and because he's new, they don't question much. He's making minimum wage (five bucks an hour) but he doesn't care. He also doesn't care when two days later he gets fired after they realize he has NO experience. It doesn't matter. He looked up the book, it's twenty dollars and he worked thirteen hours. He'll have enough for the book and then some. They hand him his check and Sam feels his brother's shock through the memory at how much goes to taxes. Again, it doesn't matter. Even after the book and the taxes, Dean will have thirty dollars to spend on Sammy. 

Dean takes his check to a small gasoline state where he gets charged another ten for cashing the check for him without ID. Seeing that he's close to tears over what he feels is losing his money in one day, the clerk waves the fee. Dean thanks her profusely then exits the door and hops the city bus to the closest used book store. Deans enters the dusty book store, practically reverberating with nerves. If they don't have it, he'll have to buy it new and Dean would rather have more money to spend on his baby brother. The owner is the clerk here and she eyes him suspiciously, taking in his ratty clothes and worn shoes, but it's nothing Dean hasn't seen over or over so he doesn't let it bother him. Instead, he puts on his most charming smile and makes his voice soft and eyes big (something he learned from Sammy, although he could never get it quite right. These memory thoughts make both Gabriel and Sam laugh internally.) "Hi there, my name is Jimmy and I'm trying to buy a book for my little brother, John. It's going to be his Christmas gift." (This also made Sam laugh. Apparently even then, his brother used rock aliases.) The performance Dean put on obviously worked on the owner as she immediately softened her gaze as she replied, "Sure, hon, what kind of book were you looking for?" "Thank you!" Dean all but chirped. "The book is called ' The Book of Angels'. He said it's by Ruth..." Dean faltered. What was her last name? "Surely you don't mean Ruth Thompson." Dean snapped his fingers, making her jump. "Yes! That's the one." "Are you sure? How old is your brother?" "Ten." "I don't know, hon. This book is kinda for adults." Dean's heart began to race. Damn Sammy, always wanting grown up books. Dean thought fast. "But my dad is the one who sent me to get it for him. He's at work right now and won't be out until you're closed. And it's for my little brother's on Christmas Day. He's just really smart. He reads everything he can get his hands on." Dean replied, pride laced into every sentence regarding Sammy. Real Sam felt his heart race as he felt all the love and pride his brother had for him. He knew it, of course, after all Dean had gone to hell for him, but still, feeling it was a whole 'nother thing. Sam doesn't notice a tear roll down his face. 

The owner of the old bookshop comes through after regarding Dean's pleading eyes. "Ok," she says. "Just because it's for Christmas." "Thank you so much," Dean tells her, throwing in a "ma'am" at the end for good measure. She beckons him to follow her and Dean happily hums along with "Little Drummer Boy" that is playing softly throughout the store. "You like Christmas, don't you?" she asks him, just making polite conversation. "Yes. But it's mostly about Johnny. I really have to get him this book. He'll be so happy." 

After they reached the display, Dean chooses the best of the three copies she has available and follows her back to the check out lane. "It'll be $9.42." Dean almost whoops aloud but stops himself, lest she take back the book. Real life Dean unknowingly smiles. He remembers he couldn't believe his luck that day. Other than the taxes, things were looking up. 

From there the memory switched to Sam's perspective. It was Christmas, their dad wasn't back from taking out the banshee and his brother was next to the bed, hunched over in the corner, yelling "Stay away Sammy!" anytime Sam got even remotely close. Probably looking at some nudie magazine. Sam eyed the clock. Maybe he should just go back to bed. It was only noon and he was tired and hungry. Sam walked toward his duffle bag when- "Heya Sammy. I'm hungry. You want to go to iHop? Eat some of those disgusting greens you love so much?" "Shut up, jerk. They're good for you. Besides, how are we going to pay for it? I'm not doing a eat and dash Dean." "Don't be a little bitch, Sam. That was one time. And you were the one who was hungry, not me. (The memory showed that was a lie) and anyways, I have money. Come on, it's Christmas. Let's go get food." "Where did you get money from, Dean?" Sam asked, warily, half expecting his brother to yell at him for even asking. Surprisingly Dean didn't. "I worked for it Sammy. Remember when I wasn't around much for those two days? I worked at McDonald's. Remember I brought you McDonald's salads for two days? That's how I got them." Sam nodded. He had liked the salads but knew they were expensive. He had figured Dean had stolen them but decided not to say anything. "So? Come on Samantha. Throw on your jacket. Let's blow this popsicle stand."

They walked to iHop, which was only two blocks from where they were staying. Sam noticed a bulge that appeared to be moving around in his brothers jacket but figured it was a weapon. He carried a blade but his brother always had a gun. 

They had just finished eating (Sam a Thanksgiving dinner that came complete with turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, cranberry sauce and warm rolles; Dean had a burger, with extra onion, and onion rings.) when Dean stuck his hand in his jacked and pulled something out that was covered in brown paper. "What is it?" "That's for you to find out." Dean replied, but he was smiling. Sam opened the paper carefully, mouth falling open when he saw the book. "But Dean, I didn't get you anything." "I don't need anything, Sammy. I have you. Besides, you wanted a dang book and I worked and had the money. Don't give me a chick flick moment." Sam ignored him and got out of his booth to envelope his brother in a big hug. 

Both boys walked out of there with full bellies and big smiles and when they got back to their roach motel they decided to nap. Dean crashed first. Sammy took a piece of hair out of his brother's face as he stared. He had had a very good Christmas. He'd spent it with his dad after all. Snuggling in to Dean, Sam fell asleep easily. How could he not? He was with Dean. His brother. His best friend. His dad. He was safe. He was protected. He was loved. 

And Dean? Deans curls protectively around Sam. Because Sammy? Sammy is his purpose in the world. Sammy is to be protected. Sammy is his responsibility. And no one can do the job better than him.


	23. Honey Pain- Koe Wetzel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not much that can be done about life. Sometimes, alcohol seems the only answer. Don't give it that power. It makes you stupid. I should know.

Gabriel gently stepped away from the boys. Both of them had tears running down their face. Dean, because he never knew that Sam saw him that way. Sam because he now understood how unlike Michael and Lucifer they were. He'd originally thought, and well, Gabriel had told them, the symmetry was there but it really wasn't, because whilst Dean was the Righteous Man, they apparently never understood that Dean was loyal only to Sam. Over the years that had grown to include Cas but overall, that's why the Apocalypse had failed. Heaven failed to understand the love between the brothers. 

Dean spoke first. "I love you little brother." 

"Always and forever." Sam nodded back at him. 

Nothing else needed to be said. 

Sam turned to Gabriel and surprised him by giving him a hug. Gabriel melted into him. And Sam loved it. 

"I'm ready for that date now, Gabe."

"You really mean it, Sammykins?"

Sam laughed at the nickname. "Yes, I really mean it."

Dean smiled before asking them where they were going. Gabriel shrugged. "Wherever Sammy here wants to go. I was thinking Alexandria."

Dean then laughed at the look on his little brother's face. Eyes wide, like a kid on Christmas morning. "You mean, you mean like the library?"

Gabriel smirked. "Of course."

He held his elbow out to Sam but Dean called out, "wait!" 

Gabriel arched his brow. 

"Cas. Is Cas ok?" Gabriel nodded. "I haven't seen him since I dropped him off but he's in good hands." "Do you think he'll..." Dean stopped, blush appearing on his ears. Sam bit his lip so as not to laugh. Surprisingly, Gabriel didn't mock his brother. Instead he nodded at Dean's unanswered question. "Always, Deanie." Dean let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks Gabriel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is embarrassingly short but I've had a rough couple of days and I'll be out in Mississippi until Tuesday so I wanted to leave y'all with just a little bit of fluff.


	24. Same Love- Macklemore

Before Gabriel snapped his fingers, he glanced at himself and Sam. He snapped and they were both in tunics. "What the hell, Gabe!?" "Sammy, we're going to 300 B.C. We can hardly go in jeans and your flannel and my t shirt."

"We're going to 300 B.C.? Will we make it back alright? Cas was only able to-" 

Gabriel interrupted him, trying his damnedest not to show how pleased he was at the nickname. "Helllllooo-"

This time Sam interrupted him with a roll of eyes, "Right. How could I forget? Archangel. Or is it Trickster?" 

Gabriel laughed, light brown eyes shining, twinkling as usual. "Both Sammy. It's like ass and grass. You can't have one without the other." 

"You smoke weed?" 

"Come on Sammich, I'm millennia old. I've done it all."

Sam paused. He had a joke, if you could call it that, but one he could never have told Dean. Something about Gabriel, though, something about Gabriel made him relax. Made him be able to poke fun at himself. He decided to roll with it. "How about demon blood?" His own eyes twinkling. His dimple showing. Behind them, he heard Dean gasp but Gabriel just chuckled. "You got me there Sammy. I've never tried that one." 

Now Sam turned slightly morose, "Well, I hope you never bite me. Cause it's still there." Gabe sobered up and regarded him for a minute before responding, "Some day I'll show you your own soul, kiddo. It can't be as pure as the Righteous Man over there because Deanie shines BRIGHT," he said with emphasis, "but yours is damn close." 

"Anywaaays," he cut Sam off who was about to ask something else. "Alexandria, Sammy. It's waiting. You ready, handsome?" 

Sam reddened but nodded. He felt a little uncomfortable in his tunic but Gabriel was right. He couldn't rightly show up in fucking jeans. Still, Gabe could have added some damn underwear. He could feel himself free-balling, not that he could check without giving the other two a show. Gabriel indicated he'd heard him because he winked and smirked before snapping. 

________

Dean shook his head at Gabriel's antics. His brother hadn't any underwear on. He wondered if he'd figured that out yet. Who knew a guy's ass could actually shake? LOL, Dean laughed. And then laughed harder. Fuck, Gabriel had some great moves. He released a sigh and looked around. He missed Cas. He couldn't help but wonder if Cas even remembered him anymore. Sure he'd only been gone a few days but he was probably having the time of his life without Dean to be an asshole to him. What if he decided he liked Gabriel's friend more than him? Dean's fist clenched. 

"You alright there, Dean?" a deep voice came from behind him. He spun around, gun already in hand. Oh, right. Thor. Damn the guy was huge. He made Dean feel like a girl. A pretty bitch. He shuddered as he remembered being called that so long ago. He nodded at Thor. Now there was something he would never ever talk about. What would he say, anyway? "Hi, I'm Dean Winchester and I used to prostitute myself so my little brother could eat?" Was there a 12-step program for that? Prostitutes Anon? 

Thor held up a glass. "You want a drink?" Dean accepted gratefully. Yes. Yes, he fucking did. 

He promptly almost spewed it out, face red. "What the fuck is this?" "Asgardian mead, Dean. Why? Is it too strong for you?" Dean's eyes narrowed. He recognized a challenge when he heard one. In one go, he downed it and felt it burn all the way down but held his hand out anyway. "Another". He demanded. Thor acquiesced. 

Ten minutes later, after telling Dean his human body couldn't handle more than two glasses of Asgardian mead, Dean was spilling all. He told Thor all about the old days. Where he had to do things because sometimes (all the time) his dad thought ammo was more important than keeping his two boy's feed. Dean's voice was bitter. He didn't have kids. He was pretty sure Ben was his but Lisa had emphatically insisted that he wasn't and anyway, he didn't see them anymore. And Emma. Well, she never stood a chance. Sam had to kill her. Either way, even if he did have kids, he'd sure as fuck never let them fend for himself. Gabriel was right. His dad was a piece of shit. 

Thor was silent. Mind reeling. He was certain Gabriel didn't know this. He would have mentioned it. Apparently his trick with the mead had worked too well. Either that or Dean really did consider him a therapist of sorts. Fuck. What was he to do?

__________

Sam couldn't fucking believe it. He was in the fucking Royal Library of Alexandria. He was in 300 B.C. What the fuck?! Who could do this?! In a burst of gratitude he grabbed Gabe's hand and squeezed it, surprised when Gabe squeezed back but then let go. Why- didn't he-? Had Sam read something wrong? "No, Sam." Gabriel said in a quiet voice. "But two guys here, it's not done. Remember the year." Oh, right. "We can blend in, but we have to not change history, ok? So even try to talk as least as possible because you aren't familiar with their lingo and even a slang word, heard before its time, could change time." Sam nodded. He wouldn't be able to talk anyway. English hadn't been created and he didn't speak Latin (not conversationally anyway. Anything involving lore he was pro at.) or Greek. Gabriel lifted a finger, his brow raised in askance. What? Oh, yes. Very much, yes. Sam thought, immediately thinking of everything he'd be able to read now. With one small snap, Sam understood everything being said around him. Excitedly he moved toward a scroll only to let out a small gasp when he could read it as well as he could English. 

It was official.

He was in love.


	25. Known-Tauren Wells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dick dedicated this song to me because he felt the lyrics were fittingly accurate. I agree. 
> 
> But I felt like it could be heard in a happy aspect as well so I dedicated it to my favourite couple.

After an amazing afternoon of studying at the Alexandria, Gabriel had declared that it was time for some fun. Sam got momentarily worried until he remembered Gabriel hadn't done anything to him thus far and plus, there was little he could do anyway. Still, he fell a little further when Gabriel read his mind and softly set his mind at ease by saying, "Or we could just go back, Sammich." Sam had to agree that the nicknames were starting to feel right. Like he was at home. And home was where ever Gabriel was. He knew Gabriel had read that when Sam felt warmth envelope him and instinctively he "leaned" into it. What he didn't know was that it wasn't really his physical body leaning although it felt like that to him. It was his soul. And Gabriel approved. He was momentarily distracted by the desire to talk to his Dad and tell him all about Sammy until he let out a soft moan and Gabriel remembered to reel it in. When he opened his eyes, Sam's looked directly at him. Orbs wide and open, soul shining bright. Beautiful. Sam hadn't been able to talk. He simply shook his head at Gabe, that no, he didn't want to go home and motioned him forward, telling him with his mind to lead the way. 

_________

Sam's mind was officially blown. Officially. 

He met Ceres! The Roman goddess of fertility. Who, of course, was friends with Loki. Sam smiled. He felt special knowing that Loki was really an incredibly hand-he meant powerful- archangel. For the first time in his life, Sam felt blessed. Until, in true trickster fashion, Gabriel introduced him as his boy toy and asked Ceres if she would help him get Sam pregnant. Ceres laughed at Sam's red face before motioning them to follow her and led them to a grand hall where various foods were on display. Sam grimaced slightly at the sight of zero silverware but in the end decided to just embrace and appreciate where he was. It was apparent that Gabriel agreed with his train of thought as he nodded at Sam approvingly when Sam reached out with his hand for a leg of what he hoped was chicken. Gabriel smirked. 

 

_________

 

Thor was still sitting there mouth agape at the things the Righteous Man had confessed. He did not know what to do. He wouldn't have told Sam or Castiel but even telling Loki seemed a breach in Dean's confidence. No, he thought carefully, what he needed to do was get Dean to tell them. He looked over at Dean, who by now was snoring and snorting loudly, passed out on the couch. Thor smiled. He might not be Loki but that didn't mean he was a dud. He pulled out his phone and video'd Dean snoring and snorting away. Blackmail baby. 

_________

Sam was having the time of his life. He didn't talk much but boy did he soak in information like a sponge. It was interesting and fun to watch Gabriel and Ceres and a few others who joined them (Hermes being one of them. It was fun to have both tricksters of different mythologies try to out boast each other on tricks they'd played on humans and other deities although to Sam, Gabriel was the clear winner. Probably because archangel). The deities spent some time roasting each other until eventually, to his surprise, some of them started a conversation with him. Wanting to find out about certain human peculiarities which is how Sam found himself explaining human feces and how...how it made itself. The deities cracked up but seemed to genuinely enjoy his knowledge of the human body. 

Sam hadn't smiled so hard in ages and unknowingly showed off his dimples to everyone around him leaving Gabriel feeling some type of way. He hadn't even known Sammy had two dimples. He deflated a little at the thought that he hadn't done or been enough to bring both out until Sam looked his way and the dimples deepened. Oh Dad, he was so fucked. 

Finally it was time to go home. They waved their goodbyes and Sam's hand felt good to Gabriel as they met up at the end of the table and Gabriel gave one final wave and snapped them home. 

Sam was over the moon. He'd not expected this treat again. He was flying. FLYING. Chuck. It felt wonderful and since they were high and he couldn't see anyway, he closed his eyes and let the wind rush over him, imagining that he was close enough to touch the stars, the moon. "I can take you there, Sam." Sam's eyes flew open and he tilted his head to look at Gabriel better but it was still hard. Swallowing past the lump that had appeared in his throat he opened his mouth, "Can you flip me over so I can see you properly?" Gabe did and Sam rethought his request as he found himself immensely close to Gabriel's face. He could have sworn they hadn't been this close before. Now he could feel Gabriel's crotch. And their mouths were suspiciously close together. Sam glanced at the mouth and then back up to let himself melt into Gabriel's eyes. They were his favourite feature of Gabe's. The color of whiskey. The colour of mischief. The colour of, yes, warmth. He could see it. Laughter, love and warmth. How wrong he'd been. On impulse he let the question die on his lips and leaned his head up. Rising his arms he pulled Gabriel down to him and kissed him. It was a soft kiss. A first kiss. But the effect was electric. Gabriel let out a chuckle and treated Sam to a show of lightening. 

"I'm not Thor but I've a few tricks up my sleeve." 

"Yes," whispered Sam, "and since you're still alive I've never been happier that you do."


	26. You Should Be Here- Cole Swindle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a reader leave the chant, "OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP" and God that was great! Thank you!! I LOVE OTP!!

Two and a half weeks later:

It wasn't exactly that things did a complete turn around, no, it was more like they had been heading to that shockingly healthy place that where they were now but without Gabriel it would have taken them several more years and for that alone Sam was grateful. He didn't think he could handle several more years of his brother and his angel eye-fucking each other at every turn. But in the nearly three weeks that Cas had been gone, his brother seemed to have done a complete 180. He talked more. Seemed happier although sometimes Sam swore he could feel the longing and sadness he felt around Cas. But really what got Sam was the talking more and how much more...affectionate if Dean could be described in such manner, had become. He joked easily with Gabriel. Didn't curse or drink nearly as much and it seemed like he'd become great friends with Thor. 

He'd even picked up working out, citing age and in a cheeky gesture had mentioned that he'd like to look nice when Cas saw him again. The look of love on his brother's face reminded Sam of the time their case involved someone's heart literally beating out of their chest, like a cartoon. So, there they were, swimming laps in the heated pool that Gabriel had snapped up when Sam, being Sam, decided to ask Dean about it. "Hey, Dean?" "Yeah, Sammy?" "How...IDK man, I never would have asked you this before but how could you have changed so much?" Dean continued swimming, leaving the question unanswered. It wasn't until two more laps that he spoke again. "Well, it's like this Sammy. I didn't know this but Bobby told me that after mom died I didn't talk for a while. Two years actually. I started talking again when you started talking. But he said that prior to that I was a chatterbox and apparently very loving. I didn't like your boyfriend, Sammy, obviously, but I think the things he's done for us now...I'm wondering if I'm starting to revert back to who I used to be. Who...who maybe I was supposed to be, Sam. Do you think that would be hard for you to accept?" Dean trailed off, nervously. He understood Sam had ever known one him. What if he didn't like this version?

Sam let out a chuckle. He LOVED this version of Dean. He loved all versions of Dean but he felt this one was really Dean and Dean had played many many roles. For a moment he was stumped. Who was he, really? He threaded water as he thought, looking into Dean's eyes. Finally he responded. "Dean, I think this has been the best you you've ever been. I think you and Cas have a real chance now. Cas would have followed you to the end of the world. HAS followed you to the end of the world but this? Now you actually deserve him. You'll be the Dean he was always meant to be with. I think you're great. I love you man." 

Sam watched as his brother got more red in the face than he already was. His head tilted in contemplation. He couldn't help but be curious at how Dean would respond to such a chick flick moment. But then Dean looked him back in the eye and seemed to straighten. "I love you too Sammy. Now, come on, lets do some more laps and go get some...I don't know, pie or something." Sam laughed before starting his stroke again. Somethings would never change it seemed. 

_______

Meanwhile in New York:

Cas couldn't believe how much he was enjoying himself with his Fath- no, with his DAD. As one of the youngest Seraphim to be created he, unlike the archangels, never got to experience prolonged exposure to his dad. To God. To Akari. And now? Well, now he was having the time of his life. His dad was nothing like how he'd thought he'd be. He wasn't strict. Wasn't commandeering, wasn't anything. If anything he was like Gabriel. Love, laughter, and the best part, warmth. He reminded Cas of Dean, too. A smartass, liked anything in a skirt (or pants or whatever the fuck they wanted to wear, as his dad had so eloquently put it). He'd revealed to Cas that he was pansexual and Cas wondered if he was too until his dad informed him that no, he was gay. Cas had tried to object, saying that he'd love Dean no matter what. His dad replied that most likely Cas was actually asexual but just happened to also be Dean-sexual. Cas contemplated that. It seemed right. Before Dean he didn't want to have intercourse with anyone. That's not to say he didn't find sex interesting, he just didn't get anything from being touched. But being touched by Dean? That was a whole 'nother ball game. 

Cas smiled as he realized that even in his thoughts, his vernacular had relaxed. He'd "taken the stick out of his ass". Being around Akari had changed him. 

Doing Akari's recommended work outs had changed him physically too. He was leaner but stronger, more muscular. He wondered if Dean would like it. 

"Incoming!!" He heard Akari ring out. It was her way of letting him know Gabriel was coming and that Cas needed to remember not to spill the "dets". 

"Hiya Akari! Where's my baby bro? How are you? How's he? Is he coming along?" He heard Gabriel ask a million questions at once and then chuckled at Akari's deadpan response. "Hiya back, Archangel Gabriel, Messenger of God. He's working out. I'm well, he's well and he's coming along fabulously." "Lady of many words, huh?" Gabriel asked before snapping out and reappearing at Cas's side. He seemed surprised when Cas embraced him and said, "Hi big bro." 

Gabriel's eyes were wide. "What. The. Fuck. I knew she was cool but I didn't know she was good. Damn bro." Cas rolled his eyes in response. Eye rolling being another thing he'd learned from Akari and had gained all the knowledge about on The Wiki. It was to signify sarcasm or "whatEVER". Cas wondered what Dean would do and then had it. He flipped his brother off. 

Gabriel threw his head back and laughed and then laughed some more. 

________

Akari watched her two sons interact, whilst cloaked. She nearly revealed herself when her youngest flipped off her favorite archangel. And her sons laugh. Unwittingly her warmth embraced them and she watched as they reacted to it, Cas knowing what it was, Gabriel not knowing but finally recognizing it. He straightened immediately as she tried to reel herself in. "Dad?", he whispered. Castiel's eyes grew wide before quickly adopting a WTF look on his face like Gabriel was crazy. "No, my name is Cas. I'm not your daddy bro. Gross." That was enough to make Gabriel forget and start laughing again. "Oh, you're awesome. I can't wait for Deenie Weenie to get a hold of you." For a second uncertainty flickered on Cas's face but Gabriel shaking his head quickly dispelled his thoughts. "No, baby bro. Don't even go there. Dean is still madly and irrevocably in love with you. You want to see him?" "You can do that?" "Hellllooo" "Yeah, yeah, I forgot momentarily. Arch-fucking-angel. Must be nice." 

At that Gabriel sobered. "I'm sorry baby bro. I'm trying. I've been looking everywhere. I just can't find it. But I will. Don't you worry. And here, look." Gabriel waved his hand and something akin to a mirror appeared. Cas gasped as Dean was thrown back by the banshee. "Gabriel!" "Wait, wait, Thor is there. He'll be alright." Sure enough, Thor stepped into the picture as did Sam and Cas watched his brother's eyes glint with anger when the banshee threw Sam across the room too. "What the fuck, THOR!" He muttered. But then, awe growing in their eyes, they saw Dean, anger fueling him as it did when someone dared mess with his baby brother. He pushed up off the ground, threw himself toward the banshee and with a war cry pierced her with a gold blade that Thor threw his way. 

"I owe him," muttered Gabriel before closing the mirror. 

"Thank you for that Gabriel. It was nice to see him."

"You're welcome Cassie. Now, come on, lets go see what sweets Akari's got today." 

And with that, both brothers, millennia between them but closer than any of the others, walked to the kitchen to have a snack with their dad.


	27. Happy- Pharrell Williams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you'll see some characters pop up and it's because I love the Winchesters. They deserve to be happy. And it's my damn story and if I want them happy, then, by Chuck, they will be.

The day after Gabriel visited Castiel woke up a little earlier than usual and laid in bed thinking about the previous day. Something had been bugging him about it and he was grateful to his body for waking up early so that he could mull it over. 

The thing was that the day before he'd practiced all his slang and new vernacular with his brother and although it had been fun it just, well, it just really was not him. Castiel felt like if that were him that maybe he would think in the same manner but he did not. He continued to hear his thoughts in the same lexicon that he had previously used. The only thing he could say for sure was that he had enjoyed flipping his brother off. That had not felt weird. It felt gratifying, really, because sometimes words did not do justice to keep up with Gabriel. Sometimes you needed a little hand gesture help to really get your point across. 

But at the same time, Castiel couldn't deny that it felt like he had finally gotten the stick out of his ass, as Dean was prone to request he do. Did that mean that Dean would prefer him to be as he was yesterday? That made Cas sad. Why could Dean not love him as he was? Cas suddenly wished he could see Dean. Try out his new speak on him and see how he responded to him. Maybe Dean would like him and if he did, then Cas would work on him liking it too. He would do it for Dean. 

Unfortunately he knew Gabriel wouldn't acquiesce to him seeing Dean so Cas decided to jot down his question on the notes section of the iPad tablet he'd been given. His dad had given it to him when Castiel mentioned that sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night with questions he wanted the answers to but did not want to wake up in the middle of the night to research. His dad had suggest and iPad, gotten one for him, shown him how to use it, and finally, shown him the notes section and said that was where he could write it out and explore it the next day. This was how Castiel learned what the phrase "show me wat dat mouf do" meant (it was a song Cas had heard that day while he and his dad walked the streets. A street performer had been singing it and Cas had been confused as to what it meant. Apparently although Cas had forgotten, his subconscious had not because the reminder came at half past three in the morning). 

It was also how Castiel learned who Misha Collins was. Cas and his dad had been having lunch at an Egyptian restaurant called Mubrooka when all of a sudden they had been surrounded. People and women, especially women, mobbed him, thrusting scraps of paper and pens at him, shouting for his signature, demanding "selfies" (which reminded him, he also needed to look that up). Castiel had been scared, were they demons? Deranged angels? Lucifer? He was being ripped away from his Father when he felt a hand on his arm and he was being pulled away by a big burly guy. "Mish! You can't fucking do shit like that, man! We've told you before, chicks be crazy." Chicks? Cas had thought. What did infantile chickens and roosters have to do with this? Maybe it was some sort of shape-shifter version he hadn't come across. He opened his mouth to speak when a touch was on him and his dad took them out of there. Misha Collins was a very loved actor who held an uncanny resemblance to Castiel. Castiel's dad had explained about fans and Cas had once again appreciated having his dad with him. It was so nice. So warm. He was so patient. He explained fans, actors, being famous, what it meant and what duties it entailed. Cas learned that the real Misha would have known how to handle all those fans. Castiel had shuddered. He was sure glad he was not really Misha. 

_______

-Ask Dean how he would prefer me

_______

Akari smiled as she heard Castiel move around. Her son was a curious one. She hadn't anticipated enjoying as much time with him as she had. She'd wanted to, of course, but hadn't expected him to be so open. He loved humans. He was ok with being human. She hadn't heard him once complain besides a very emphatic "Son of a bitch" he'd bitten out once when he stubbed his toe. That had make Akari laugh. That was clearly Dean shining through. She'd read from Gabriel exactly how Dean was and had added making him know his own worth to her lists of tasks of things she'd do once she came out. There wasn't much time left. Only about two and a half more weeks and then it would be time. 

_______

(making a quick pitstop in with the boys)

The boys were having dinner with the ladies and Thor when Gabriel popped in. Claire had her gun on him in an instant as did Jody but Dean quickly let them know they were ok while his brother just gave him a lackadaisical wave before digging into his enchiladas that Dean and Donna had made. "Gabriel! What are you- is every thing ok? Is Cas ok? Does he need our help?" Dean let out in rush. Gabriel was doubled over in laughter. Not at Dean but at the situation. He held up a finger and finished laughing before he spoke. "I told myself I wasn't going to give you updates Dean, but I have to tell you this one. Don't worry, it's nothing bad." He stated as he saw Dean start freaking out again. "So my friend, Akari..." he told them a little bit about Akari's background and her knack for just knowing who was different. He told them about her warmth while he looked at Sam. "It's almost like I recognize it but I can't place it." He said, drifting off. He felt like he knew it. But from where? "Um, Gabriel? Can you come back to us now? Think about it later? How is Cas?" Dean insisted. Gabe took a moment to look at Thor in surprise. What the hell was this? Old Dean would have been threatening to shoot him by now. Demanding he return Cassie. Who was this? Gabriel knew he was making the right choice in giving Dean a small update. 

"Well let me tell you..." and off he went, recapping his evening and his brothers antics to the table, who besides Dean, Donna, Thor, Sam, Claire and Jody also had Alex, Patience and Kaia there, along with Charlie who was currently making eyes at the beautiful Patience. "...and then he flipped me off, Sammy! He flipped me off! Cassie!" The whole table, who knew Castiel were laughing hard. So was Dean but he seemed nervous. Gabriel stopped. What was wrong? "Dean?" Dean blinked and the smile became even more evidently forced. Gabriel glanced at his brother who just shrugged but stood up. "Hey, Dean, follow me." Dean nodded and stood up, following his therapist out the door. Gabriel looked at Sam, expecting to see an accusatory look on his face, ready to have to defend himself. Instead Sam was looking at him like he was worried about him. "You ok, Gabe?" Gabriel had been sitting across the table from Sam but Sam got up, went around and sat with him, an arm thrown around his shoulder. 

The thoughtfulness in that was so appreciated that it made Gabriel tell the truth. "I just don't know what I did. I thought it was funny. I didn't do anything wrong, Sammy. Did I?" Sam was shaking his head. "You didn't, Gabriel. Promise. Dean is probably freaking out that the Cas that left him that was devoted to him might not be the one coming back, please don't worry about it. You didn't do anything wrong." "You promise?" "I promise." In a move that made everyone at the table gasp and reminded Sam that they had an audience, Sam leaned forward and kissed Gabriel on the forehead.


	28. Remember When- Alan Jackson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've moved out. Last Saturday was my first night away from Dick. I let out two tears for a marriage long gone and that was it. I forced myself to stop. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Even more so because I know he doesn't want me back. And the finality of those words is something I never thought I'd have to associate with him. 
> 
> Remember when. Remember when I would have done anything for you? It feels like I still am. Just in the way you want it. I'm giving in and i'm the one doing the work. I have to stop. For my own self worth. My own sanity. My own love of myself. I have to stop. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter almost doesn't even fit. There's not plot. No thought of anyone else but Dean.

Dean knew he was coming to rely on Thor quite a bit. There was just something about the god that made it easy to talk to him. Things that Dean had never mentioned to anyone flowed out of him. Somehow Dean wasn't embarrassed. If anything, he felt relief at finally being able to tell someone. The only thing that made Dean sorta shudder was a vague recollection of having told Thor what he'd had to do as a kid to keep Sammy fed. He didn't regret it but he'd rather Sam never have to know. 

He followed Thor to the library and while Thor normally sat on the chair catty-corner to the couch, this time he sat on the couch. Dean settled in next to him before blurting out, "Cas sounds different. What if he's so different he won't love me anymore?" Thor replied in his deep voice, "You're different also, Righteous Man. Will you love him any less?" Dean shook his head vigorously. "Never." "I have a feeling it's the same for him. It's love Dean. It conquers people changing after all people change all the time." Dean drew his legs up to his chest, feet resting on the edge of the sofa. "I just wish I could see him." He whispered. "You can." Thor whispered back at him. 

Dean's head snapped up but Thor put a finger up to his lips to silence at him. "Little archangels have big ears." He whispered at Dean. Dean almost laughed but the notion of being able to see Cas stopped him. He gazed at Thor, pleadingly. Thor raised his hand and made a circle in the air. The air wavered a bit but then the image cleared and there was Cas. Dean's breath took a sharp intake. It was Cas. Cas was doing pull ups in nothing but sweat pants. Dean didn't even know what to look at first, his thoughts and heart running like crazy. He didn't know what he'd expected, maybe Cas with piercings and tattoos (although that wouldn't have been bad either) but this was Cas. Just Cas. HIS Cas. Just a lot more ripped than he remembered. Abs that Dean wanted to lick constricted as Cas did a pull up and pulled his legs up. Biceps bulged as he did so and Dean all of a sudden felt like he hadn't been exercising sufficiently. Cas looked like Cas, just more. Dean sighed as someone else came into the picture. 

"You're doing well Cas. If you want to make sure you don't bulk up to much, insert more cardio. I don't know what you can do about your legs though. You have thick thighs, son." Dean's gut recoiled. Who the hell was this bitch? She was beautiful. Hair pulled into a high ponytail, wearing relaxed sweatpants and a sports bra, showing off a thin waist and her own abs. Is this who Cas had been staying with? Dean's heart all but broke. He didn't stand a chance. As it was, Cas was looking at her with adoration clear on his face as he nodded and jumped down from the bar and moved to her to accept what looked like juice that she was holding out to him. Dean watched with fascination as Cas's Adam's Apple moved up and down as he swallowed. He'd love to be able to kiss that Adam's Apple up and down, nibble along it, bite it. 

His fantasy's died as he watched Cas move toward her (what had Gabriel said her name was?) and envelope her in a hug. "Thanks dad". 

Dean (and Thor's) mind screeched to a halt. What. The. Fuck. 

They watched with trepidation, both of them all of a sudden very afraid for Cas, as she (he?) nodded at Cas and turned away from him. In a move Thor didn't expect and one that had him reacting quickly, she looked directly at them and winked. 

________

"Gabriel!!!!!" Dean shouted as Thor shouted "Loki!!!" Gabriel appeared next to them in an instant. Archangel blade in one hand, Sam in the other, Dean could hear the others thundering towards them as they ran. Dean barely took a second to notice they were holding hands but he couldn't address that. Not now. In a rush, both Thor and Dean started shouting about Cas's safety. Until Gabriel let out the most shrill whistle Dean had ever heard. "Wait! Stop! WHAT?" Thor started over again but that was taking too long, stepping forward Dean raised Gabriel's hand, pulled one finger away from the archangel blade and put it against his head and forced his memories at him. Gabriel gasped and was gone. 

Gabriel forgot to release Sam and in the next second he was almost startled to see Sammy standing next to him. He recovered quickly when he heard Akari and Cas running. He released all his power none of it affecting Sam as he was still holding his hand and had him cocooned in safety. "Who are you?" He demanded of Akari, slamming her into the wall. He couldn't believe he'd trusted her. It made his heart clench at the thought of having left his little brother here, in her clutches. The only thing, well, the thing was that he was the archangel of justice. If she'd been bad he would have been able to feel it. 

As thought after thought, coupled with Dean's memories hit him he couldn't help but wonder...unless...

The realization of what was happening hit him as well as the sudden identifiable warmth. "Drop the act, DAD" He spit out thickly, crying for the first time since he'd left heaven.


	29. Vivir Lo Nuestro-Marc Anthony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story just keeps getting longer and longer but I'm having fun writing it so no regrets. I hope you guys are enjoying it.

There was something about watching Gabriel go all archangel that turned Sam on. Even in incredibly inappropriate times such as the one they were currently in. Sam's hand was still in Gabriel's and with the other one he was holding Akari up. He released Sam as he let Akari go and strangled out a "dad?" Sam watched as Akari nodded and slowly morphed in front of them into Chuck.

CHUCK?!

They hadn't seen Chuck since the Amara fiasco, when they'd both flown off together. What the hell happened? 

________

Back at the bunker:

"Thor, turn it back on man, turn it back on. He took Sammy! That dick took Sammy! I'm going to kill him, I'm going to coat him in holy oil and-"

"Dean. Dean. Please calm down, I'll do it now. He wouldn't let anything happen to Sam, I promise."

With a wave of his hand, Dean breathed, finally, relief filling him as he saw Gabriel holding Akari against the wall, heard Gabriel say "dad?" in a voice full of disbelief and then there was Sam, Sammy, Sammy was ok. Dean could breathe. 

When Akari turned into Chuck, Dean almost shit his pants. Cas had been with his dad this whole time? Did that mean he was back to being an angel? Did that mean he was willingly staying away from Dean? Dean's heart hurt. Then everything went white. 

___________

Chuck knew everyone had questions but for once in a long time, he found himself wanting to explain versus just disappearing again. He knew it had something to do with Cas and Gabriel. They didn't run away. They faced things head-on. It was time he took a page out of their book and did the same but first. With a single thought he brought everyone who was at the bunker to the dojo. 

"I hate flying angel air!" Dean snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at Chuck. "Ah, but Dean, that wasn't angel air. That was God air and wasn't it a much smoother ride?" Chuck smirked at Dean who glared harder, refusing to acknowledge that it was, in fact, a much smoother ride. The dick. Or was that Dick, with a capital D. Chuck laughed. "It's whatever you want it to be, Dean."

Chuck glanced at everyone else who hadn't met him yet. They knew of him, they just hadn't met him. As expected a couple of faces were in awe and he almost sighed. He didn't want to play God anymore, not in that sense anyway. He just wanted friends, family, not subordinates. With another thought he created pews and had everyone seated, including Thor who was simply observing him, with arms crossed over his impassive head. Chuck glanced at his sons, Gabriel openly weeping, Sam an arm around him, holding him close and Castiel- Castiel the son who didn't listen to shit was actually not sitting, he was still standing. Hmm, his son was definitely stronger than he thought. 

Chuck materialized a chair and sat on it, facing them, leaving Castiel alone for now. 

"Lets get this started, yes? I can feel all your questions and I'm...normally I wouldn't have even allowed this to happen but being with Castiel has taught me that you don't run from family, you run with them so I'm back and I'm here to stay. I'm going to talk so hold your questions until the end, ok?" He looked sternly at Dean who at least had the decency to look abashed. He looked at Sam who was leaning forward, ever the student, ready to learn. Chuck smiled. He loved his children. His humans. He created this. He created them. Damn, he'd done good. 

His kudos and fist pumps to himself were thwarted by the sound of someone tapping their foot impatiently. Had to be Dean. Chuck laughed as he faced him. "I love you, you know that?" Dean's foot stopped abruptly and he stilled. "What?" "You heard me. I love you. I love all of you and I was simply telling myself that I'd done a damn good job with humanity. Who knew that the Apocalypse would be stopped because two brothers loved each other so much they wouldn't let the other go? That's why the Apocalypse failed, you know. Everyone, me included thought you were the replicas of Michael and Luci but what we all failed to take into account was that the loyalty that is between y'all isn't in Michael or Luci. Maybe once upon a time but it didn't withstand time the way y'alls did. Your bond is incredible. That wasn't my doing, that was y'alls doing. You two, " he said, waving a finger between the two, "are incredible." 

Dean and Sam spoke at the same time. Dean: "He's my little brother." Sam: "I've been looking up to him since I was born." Chuck nodded. "That's what I mean. No matter what you two have come across, y'all haven't forgotten the basics, it's what you go back to time after time. That's why you've won time after time. It's why Michael and Lucifer failed. Because they strayed from the basics. But you two," he said, now pointing at Gabriel and Cas who had finally moved to sit next to Dean, " you two are capable of becoming them. The next and much needed archangel brother duo in heaven. Hang on, son, I'm not done," Gabriel was already shaking his head no, while Cas just stared at him, impassively as he waited on his dad to finish. "Listen to me, Gaby. I'm not saying to become the next Michael. You're not Michael, you've never been Michael and I'm damn proud of that fact. You're Gabriel. As much as you two have your issues, you also act like an older brother, like Dean, when it came to Cas and the other fledglings. Remember teaching Cas how to fly? How to land? How to groom his wings? Remember throwing him into the volcano on accident? How you dove after him even though your wings got charred and Raphael had to fix them? You two are real brothers. You two are Dean and Sam, just the angelic versions. Dean taught Sam here how to shoot, how to read, let himself go to hell to get his brother back and look at tied them two are. Look at it son. Look at their souls." And Gabriel looked. Really looked. His eyes widened as he took in how the soul of the Righteous Man, even whilst sitting, reached out for the younger brother, whose soul reached out for him. Gabriel stood and took Sam with him and sat him next to Dean and saw how their souls rejoiced at being together. He sucked in a breathe. "Is that even allowed?" He asked in wonder. "It has nothing to do with being allowed or not. It hasn't been seen since Michael and Lucifer were brothers. Their souls call out for the other, that why they've never separated and through all their hardships, all the trials they've gone through, they've worked through them instead of letting it separating them. You and Cas are the same Gabriel. Are you willing?" Gabriel looked at Cas who was looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes. Could he? What if he failed? He felt like Cas was the only one left worth saving of all his dick brothers but did he love him like that? "You do son. If you didn't you wouldn't be trying to find his grace. If you didn't, you wouldn't have cared how Dean treated him. If you didn't you wouldn't be trying to get Dean help so he can love and be loved properly. You love him. That's what love is. Wanting to do what's best for your little brother."

Gabriel sat back in the pew, thinking furiously and biting his lip. Finally he spoke, "What if Cas doesn't want me like that? Does he get a say?" He'd directed the question to his dad but it was Cas who answered. By snorting. "Don't be stupid Gabe." Dean looked shocked at the vernacular and easiness in which Cas used it. Sam also looked startled but Cas didn't stop there. "You sang to me Gabriel. You were the warmest of all the older brothers, the only one who didn't ignore us or treat us like shit, the way Raphael did. You saved me from the volcano even though logically you knew it wouldn't do anything to me. Nothing permanent anyway. You took me cloud hopping, you taught me how to form stars and constellations even the ones you made dicks, remember that?" Gabriel started laughing. He remembered that. "Anyways, I don't know how we could create a bond like Dean and Sam's but I'd damn sure like to try. What do you say, big brother?" "Geez, kid, do you even need me anymore? Seems like Dad here has been teaching you everything." "Dude. We could all go get pedicures. Two angels and two hunters walk into Happy Feet..." Gabriel and Chuck cracked up. Chuck held up his hand and recounted to everyone present how Castiel had reacted upon getting his first pedicure. Everyone in the room laughed as they watched it in real time (Chuck replayed the memory from his mind in an apparition that was akin to a projection). Dean laughed so hard tears were running down his face. Afterwards he clapped Cas on the leg. "That was the funniest shit man." It was the first time they'd spoken to each other and Chuck had to clear his throat twice before either of them turned to him. "As interesting as THAT was," pointing at them both making Dean blush, "let me continue. My favorite thing about Cas is his tenacity. I want to explain it. So, my power, as God, is different than anyone else's. When I want something done, it's more like I'm commanding it. So when I had y'all sit down, what you were listening to was a command. You did it on your own, you obeyed it on your own. But Cas here, Cas refused to sit down. And that's more admirable than I can put into words. I don't know if he's always been this way or if he learned to rebel from you, Dean, but Cas didn't sit down until he was good and ready. He didn't listen just because I commanded it. Does anyone know how amazing that is? That's why I'm going to rectify something I should have done a long time ago. I'm making you an archangel son. You deserve it more than any other angel ever has. You and Gabriel will be the archangels and while I'm contemplating creating another two, it won't happen for some time yet." Castiel's eyes were open wide in shock. "But dad, I don't have any more grace." "Helllllloooo, CHUCK!" Chuck stated, exactly the way Gabriel did making everyone laugh again. 

When the room had died down again, Gabriel shifted and whispered,"Dad?" "Yes, son?" "Can I feel you?" Chucks heart broke at how much like a fledgling his son sounded. He glanced at the humans and the Demi-god in the room. "You can son, but the only way to do it without us leveling all of the eastern coast is by making everyone else angels for...an hour? Is that good?" Gabriel nodded. "Ok, hang on. Let me get a consensus. So guys, what Gabriel means is shedding the vessels we're in and feeling each other's grace and warmth. I've been gone for a long time so Gabriel hasn't felt that in several millennia. The only way to do it without all of you guys dying is to either send y'all away or, I could make y'all angels for an hour, even you Thor, and everyone can get to see what it feels like." There were many enthusiastic nods all around, even from Thor but Sam and Dean just looked at each other. "What are the repercussions, Chuck?" Dean asked. "And how does it work with out physiology?" Asked Sam. Chuck smiled at them, damn these kids were smart. "You guys are smart. That's what makes you such good hunters. No repercussions, Dean. Wouldn't be much of God if I couldn't do such a small thing like this. Sam, I'm basically loaning everyone a piece of my massive grace, it'll enhance all your sense and give you your own set of wings. If afterwards you'd like to keep them I wouldn't be opposed to it. Not the wings, I'm not making y'all angels, but I mean the enhanced senses. You'd be able to hear better, smell better, taste better, and see better." Sam regarded him carefully before speaking, "but then we wouldn't technically be human, right? We'd be enhanced?" "We'd be X-men, Sammy. I like it." Sam laughed. "Of course you would, Dean." "Ok, we're in." 

"Wonderful," Chuck said, lifting his hand, a glow immediately emanating from them, "let's do this thing."


	30. Sometimes On A Sunday- Glorious Sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This is the last chapter for the first part of this series. I hope you guys have enjoyed it. There are many things that I didn't tie up in a neat bow but rest assured, there's a reason for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I freaking love this story so much. Chuck is the God I wish God was. Just cool, you know? Human. I hope to Chuck that when I meet Him, he's like this.

A second later had everyone looking in awe at the angels true forms. 

Warmth radiated throughout everyone but Gabriel and Castiel truly bathed in it. It felt like coming home. The grace swirled around it and Castiel couldn't help but envelope it all around him and his grace positively glowed. He saw someone else's grace gravitate towards his and he knew that was Dean. He'd know Dean anywhere. In any shape, way or form. Dean's borrowed grace sauntered up to him and if Cas had had a face it would have been split into a grin. His hunter. Forever his hunter. 

No matter how many tribulations they'd faced together, Cas would do it all again if they always ended up here. He felt as Dean's grace swirled around him before crashing into him and he could feel how beautiful Dean was. Another grace made their way towards them and Cas could tell it was Sam. Sam, who never left his brother's side and Cas watched as Dean directed a piece of his grace, almost like an arm, towards the incoming grace and wrap himself around it. It seemed Dean could also tell that was his baby brother. Finally a fourth grace made its way towards them. Large and stretched as far as the eye could see, it also wrapped an "arm" around Sam and another around Cas. Cas knew who it was, it was HIS brother. His big brother. Love and hope swelled in Castiel's grace as he rejoiced in the elation he was feeling until his own grace was covering everyone and he pulled his dad's grace towards them. 

There was nothing like it. His dad's grace also covered everyone but the main part of him came to where Cas and his family stood, radiating love and hope out at them and everyone of them returned it all of them forgiving each other and Him for everything they had put each other through. Even Dean, as recalcitrant as he was shone. He shone with the power of the Righteous Man, his glow becoming purple then yellow as he pushed his own grace out and gave everyone in the room a hug. They were his family and he'd do anything to protect them. 

The hour passed quickly with each of them basking in the simple presence of the other before they felt Chuck give a quick tug and everyone was back to the way they had been. 

Gabriel's eyes were streaming tears. He hadn't felt hope in such a long time, hadn't felt his Father's warmth, it had been everything. An arm crawled across his shoulders and he turned, surprised to see that it was Sam. Sam leaned down to give him a kiss on the temple and tears fell anew. 

"Thank you Father." Gabriel croaked out. 

Hi Dad smiled warmly at him before nodding. Chuck felt thankful too. Never would He have expected to be welcomed back with such open arms. He turned to look at Dean who was looking Cas over as though checking him for injuries. Chuck let out a chuckle. "What are you doing, Dean?" Dean's face turned red as everyone turned to look at him. "Checking Cas out, for, you know, new appendages." Chuck laughed. "Would you like to be able to see them?" Dean nodded and Chuck turned to face Sam. "How about you, Sam? Would you also like the gift of sight?" Sam glanced behind Gabriel before he straightened and also nodded. Chuck smiled again and said, "Let it be so." and the room laughed when Dean gasped. "Cas! Your wings!" Castiel smiled impishly back at Dean. "Yes, Dean, those are my wings. I used to only have two, now I have six." "Dad?" He turned to Chuck. "What am I the archangel of?" 

Chuck smiled beatifically at him. "Humanity, son. You've proved over and over how much you love humans so you will be the Archangel of Humanity. I may be back but heaven is going to need me and I won't be on Earth too much longer. I need to go get that all fixed up. But you? You will be here and along with your hunter you both will be in charge of making sure Earth stays safe."

Castiel nodded. He understood and approved. More than anything he was happy to be near Dean and to have his Grace back. He knew he and Dean hadn't really talked and he sent his thoughts towards his Dad who nodded and said, "I'm going to give Cas and Dean a chance to talk. I'm going to be over there if anyone wants to come chat with me." Standing, he moved over to a table that hadn't been there before. A circle table that seated 12. Everyone moved over. 

Claire was the first to speak up. "So you're God, huh?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "How are my parents?" Chuck was surprised. He loved how humanity continued to surprise him. Rather than lashing out at him for having lost them or demanding that he bring them back, she was choosing instead to ask how they were. He lifted his hand and their heaven materialized and she watched them happily as they moved around in their heaven, watched as Jimmy went around the counter to where her mom was and enveloped her in a hug, swaying gently behind her. Claire watched for a moment longer and then nodded at him. "Thank you." 

Jody cleared her throat and he materialized another mirror at her so she could watch her son and husband. They were playing ball in the lawn in front of a house that here on earth had been the one they had lived in. Her throat caught in a lump. God, she missed them. Tears filled her eyes as she finally took her eyes off of them and thanked God for the gift silently.

Chuck looks around the table and materializes a mirror for Alex, who gasps. Even though she only has hazy memories of them, she knows she is being shown her parents. Tears stream down her face as she watches them watch a movie, her mom snuggled into her dad who has an arm wrapped around her, a bowl of popcorn sits between his legs. She watches as her mom reaches down to grab some before stuffing it in her mouth and Alex lets out a choked laugh. She eats popcorn the same way. She studies them as she sees herself in them. She has her mothers jet black hair but her father's nose and eyes. Her mother's lips and body style but her height from her dad as her mom looks tiny. She watches as another figure comes into view and she realizes that's her grandmother, the one she was raised with. She doesn't look like her grandmother anymore, but a much younger version. She was beautiful. She's setting up the table behind them, disappearing into the kitchen and coming back out with what appears to be a chicken on a platter. Even from there, Alex can see that it's hot, she watches the steam rise and then her eyes are back on her mom who turns back and gives her mother in law a sunny smile before facing forward again. Alex's dad dips his head to kiss her mom on her head and Alex is happy. Her family is happy and so is she. She turns to Chuck and gives him a watery smile before saying thank you. 

After that, Jody starts talking, launching into a story about her son that makes everyone laugh. The night goes by, each of them telling stories about their families and even Gabriel and Chuck join in. Sam doesn't share much, he's still processing the day and every once in a while he turns to check on his brother who is still deep in conversation with his angel. Every time he does he feels relief. As much as the world changes, he's happy to see that some things don't, for as much as he turns for Dean, Dean also turns to him, to check on him. To make sure his little brother, his baby brother is doing ok. Time and time again they smile at each other. 

And God? God rejoices as He watches. They are what humans are supposed to be. What his creation was supposed to be. Beautiful, courageous, loving. If nothing else, he did one thing right. Don't get him wrong, many more things are to come for the hunters. But this time they won't be alone, he'll ensure that they finish school, his son, Gabriel was right to guide them to do so. He'll ensure that they never have to worry about things like money or identity. He's also removed all traces that they were dead. From here on out, his sons will be able to just be themselves. Sam and Dean Winchester, not Smith, not anything else they've had to make up, but Winchester. Because that name is too important to be forgotten. They are everything. They are the men that prevailed over the Apocalypse. The men that went to hell and back for each other, the Righteous Man and the boy with the demon blood who even then has done more good for the world then most of his own sons, the angels, have done. They are the boys who could.


End file.
